Hostage!
by Lemon Out
Summary: Disaster hits the MIT team and one of them is in serious danger. How will they react?
1. Chapter 1

**I thought I'd take a little breather from Aftermath.. I have some thoughts about where to take it, but I don't know how far to push it, so I'm taking some time out and thought I'd give this idea a go instead. Let me know what you think if you can, as always it would be appreciated! xx**

Chapter 1

'Er- where the hell is everyone?' Rachel looked around the office. She'd expected to arrive at an office that was almost frenzied in activity due to arriving late this morning. Instead, only Janet, Godzilla and Kevin were there.

'Ugh. That bastarding noro-virus. I _told_ Kevin not to come in last week, did I not?' The three women looked over at him with disapproving looks. 'I _specifically __said _"Kevin, don't come in, if you've got that bug it's bloody contagious and I can't afford for my team to be ill." Didn't I?!'

'I thought it'd left my system, ma'am!' Kevin protested, feeling a little put-out that he was once again getting in shit.

'I don't care _what_ you thought, you should have bloody listened to me! Now we have more than half of our team off work with this stupid thing and I have... _you_.' The disdain was clear in her voice. She turned her gaze to Rachel. 'Where have you been? You're almost an hour late.'

'My bathroom flooded, boss. I did call to let you know, I left a message with Kevin.' Once again, heads turned to the direction of his desk; he'd miraculously disappeared.. probably to get out of the firing line. 'I had to wait for my sister to get to mine so she could let the plumber in when he turned up.'

Janet smiled at her with sympathy. 'If it's not one thing, it's another isn't it? You alright, mate?'

'Yeah.. I guess so. I'm trying not to think about how much damage it's caused and how much I'm going to have to pay out. I should have sold it last year when I had the chance. But anyway, what's going on today, ma'am?'

'Well, I'm waiting for officers to be sent over to cover for our team.' They collectively sighed. None of them enjoyed having officers in the office that weren't from their own syndicate. They didn't know how Syndicate 9 did things, they hated not being with their own team and it was just generally a nuisance. However, sometimes.. like right now, for instance, it couldn't be helped. 'I don't know how long they're going to be. I called them as soon as I realized we needed them, but you know what this place is like. Everyone thinks _their _team is more important and fuck everyone else's. I might as well set you to work now and then give the other officers their roles when.. _if_.. they bother to turn up.'

Janet and Rachel glanced at each other, Godzilla was _not_ happy today. It was going to be one of those days. Kevin slunk back to his desk, a look of hope on his face, clearly wondering if he'd escaped the boss' wrath.

'Kevin, make a brew for everyone. Come on, move your arse.' Gill snapped, having less patience than usual which didn't bode well for her team. 'Janet can you update Rachel on what's been happening while I call up syndicate 5 again? They obviously need a kick up their arses. Then I'll come back out and tell you all what you'll be doing.' She marched back into her office, slamming the door shut behind her with more force than was necessary.

'Right.' Janet looked at Rachel with a tired grin. 'Top of our priority is the murder of Daysha Kaye, it-'

'Daysha?' Rachel interrupted. 'The same Daysha that we talked to a couple months back about that Leon murder? _That _Daysha?'

'Yeah. The very same. She was found last night with her neck and stomach slashed in the park around the corner from her house. I've already been out to her brother's place and informed him. Understandably, he's devastated.'

'Bloody hell.' Rachel sighed. She'd liked Daysha when they'd met her before. She seemed to be a nice girl. 'Hang on.. you've already been to see him?! What time did you get in this morning?'

'Early.' Janet replied, simply. 'I'd hoped to finish early-ish tonight so I thought I'd best put the hours in this morning, but it doesn't look very likely now does it.' She glared at Kevin who was approaching them with their drinks. He didn't pay much attention to the frustration aimed at him as per usual.

'That Daysha, she was the one who we talked to when that fella had his dick shoved down his throat, wasn't she?' He asked, without any sort of compassion, in fact he looked like he was trying to contain a smile at the thought of the bloke's demise.. Typical Kevin.

'Yes. Though can we not refer to a young woman who has just been murdered as the girl who was involved in someone getting their dick shoved down his throat, have some bloody respect. Anyway, you've been here for at least an hour, you should already know who she is.' Janet said sternly. 'Pay attention, Lumb.'

Rachel had a sip of her tea. 'Poor Daysha. What's the plan of action?'

'Dunno. Haven't got much sense out of Gill this morning, she's been muttering all sorts of threats but that's about it. She should be out in a minute.' Janet glanced over through the office window just in time to see her boss slam the phone down. 'Any minute now.' she added, in a sing-song voice.

As if on cue, Gill stormed back into the office. 'Do they honestly think I have _nothing_ better to do than fucking chase up on whether they're doing what they're supposed to be doing? What has _happened_ with this fucking place the past few years? Making a _mockery _of the police force. Fucking idiots.' she muttered to herself, causing her three colleagues to take a precautionary step back in alarm. 'Right,' she addressed her team, forcing herself to sound a bit calmer. '_Apparently,_ the officers are on their way, like they were _on their way_ an hour ago. So, I'm not fanny-arsing around waiting for them to arrive. I want us to do door-to-door, ask them the usual.. if they know Daysha, when they last saw her, had they seen any suspicious activity around the park last night, all that shite. I've got uniforms going through some CCTV we managed to collect, not my first choice of course, but we're all running low on options and officers right now. I'll be pairing you off with uniforms when you're doing your door-to-door inquiries, sorry about that. Rach, Kevin.. you'll be on that. Janet I want you to go to Daysha's school, talk to teachers, peers, try and figure out a bit more about her. When you're done there I want you to go back to her brother, Kriss. His FLO will be there of course, which is fine, but I want you to ask him about if Daysha had any enemies, if her behaviour has changed lately, just try and get as much information as you can. And I'll have to stay here to wait for these cocking officers. I'll phone up Scary Mary to see if she can spare the time to actually do her job and give me the specifics of the attack. And I'll get someone to hurry up on going through Daysha's mobile et-cetera. Are we all clear?' she looked at her team, knowing that today was going to be a long day. They all nodded their agreement and she swanned back into her office.

'Where are the uniforms going to be?' Kevin asked much to the disbelief of his two colleagues.

'Kevin, we do door-to-door on practically _every_ case we get, how have you _not _understood how this works by now? Fuck. They'll be meeting us down there, like they do _every single time._' Rachel said, shaking her head at the stupidity that was Kevin.

'Keep your hair on,' he sulked. 'And what's Her Majesty on about anyway, with the FOL.. LFO.. whatever it was she was on about?'

'Are you purposefully trying to piss me off?' Janet asked, showing just how stressed she was as she was usually the more kind to Kevin out of the team. 'Family Liaison Officer, dipshit.' Kevin blushed, knowing that even for him that had been a rather idiotic question. Janet turned her attention on Rachel, giving her arm a quick squeeze as she walked past. 'Right, I'll see you later, pal. Good luck.. it's going to be a shitter of a day.'

'Ain't it just. See ya later, Jan.' Rachel replied, for the first time in her life wishing she had the dreaded noro-virus, anything that would mean she wouldn't have to be in the office today.

xxx

'Hello, I'm DC Rachel Bailey from the Manchester Metropolitan Police, Major Incident Team. Can I ask you a few questions in regards to an incident that occurred last night?'

She was an hour into her door-to-door inquiries and Rachel was bored out of her mind. A very new and very ditzy uniformed officer had been assigned to assist her, PC Holly Roberts. Apparently, Holly had been with the force for a mere three weeks and when Rachel had attempted to make conversation and asked why she'd wanted to join, Holly had responded that she didn't really know, it just might be fun. That had ended any further possibility of chit-chat. Rachel might as well have been on her own for all the help PC Roberts was. After the first four houses they'd visited, Rachel had learnt that it would be much easier if she tasked her underling with making tea, or leaving the room to contact the office, just anything so that she wasn't in with Rachel.

'How many more have we got to do?' PC Roberts asked as they left yet another house, breaking Rachel out of her thoughts that included putting together a letter of complaint to send to Holly's supervisor. Honestly, she had been _useless _this morning.

'Look, it's not fun, and it's not particularly interesting, but you just need to get on with it. We may find a lead, that's what you need to focus on.'

'Well maybe it would be more interesting if I was allowed in with you while you did it.' Holly grumbled.

'Well, maybe you would be allowed in if you were more appropriate. In the first house you pretty much told the woman that she needed to lose weight, in the second house you were more interested in talking about the local nightclub than getting any answers, and in the third, deny it as much as you like, I swear I saw you nodding off. So, as it happens, there is no way on earth I'm letting you question these people. You give us a bad name.'

'But-'

'Oh _please_... give it a rest. Now, let me talk to this next person in peace!' Rachel rapped on the front door smartly, her badge at the ready. Next to her, Holly was looking like a sullen teenager. God, she was like the female Kevin.

'Er- what?' A man that Rachel faintly recognized was squinting as he opened the door.

'Hello. I'm DC Rachel Bailey from Manchester Metropolitan Police, Major Incident Team. Can I ask you a few questions in regards to an incident that occurred last night?' she said automatically, trying to place the face in front of her to a name.

'What incident?' The male asked, not moving from the door.

'I'll explain when we're inside. Can I come in please?' Aha, Reno Matthews. They'd also talked to him a while back when they were working on the murder case which had involved Daysha. He was a dirty prick from what she remembered.

'Why?' He asked, his voice filled with barely-veiled anger.

'Because we want to ask you some questions. We're doing house to house inquiries and you're the next on the list.' Rachel attempted a smile, but he just gave her the creeps. She noticed Holly take a step back and almost try and shield herself behind Rachel. Definitely another Kevin, she groaned to herself.

'Fine. Go ahead, door on your left.' He finally stepped back to allow the officers access. 'I just need a piss.' He said, leaving the women in a room that, to be frank, absolutely stank.

Rachel, always one to follow her instincts, walked over to Holly and stood next to her. 'Go back out front and radio the station. Tell them that we're with someone called Reno Matthews and he is acting suspiciously. Tell them to inform DCI Murray, she'll remember him. Make sure you go out front though, I don't him to be aware of what you're doing.'

'This is more like it!' Holly grinned, causing Rachel to shake her head again. 'Okay, tell them his name, he's acting suspiciously, tell DCI Murray. Right?' she checked, as she started heading for the door.

'Yes. But for God sake, be quiet! Oh, I give up, just go out front and make the call. Make sure you don't close it fully behind you, won't ya?'

Holly left then, leaving Rachel in the room alone. God, the smell was horrific. It reeked of urine and she squealed as she saw a mouse run across the room. She cursed when she heard the front door close and started to head out of the room to re-open before Matthews appeared. Too late. He came back in the room with a look of suspicion on his face.

'Why is that bitch out there?' he asked, the distrust showing in his eyes.

'She just needed to do something, that's all.' Rachel said, trying to inject a sense of reassurance in her voice, but she suddenly realized that sending Holly out was the completely wrong decision. Now she was left in here alone with this man.

'I know what you're all like. Fucking pigs. I remember what you were like when Leon was killed. You're trying to set me up, aren't ya?' he was stood in the doorway, the only exit there was in this room.

'No, Mr Matthews, of course not! PC Roberts is dealing with something else entirely. It's okay.'

'Fuck you, you little bitch.' He growled. 'So what if I did kill the slut? She had it coming to her. You all do.'

Rachel was frightened now and she hated the feeling. 'Sir, would you mind letting me out? We can talk about this further but I'm feeling slightly uncomfortable now.'

He laughed at her and slowly shook his head. 'Don't think so, sexy. Think you're going to be my little friend.' He pulled out some rope from his pocket that Rachel hadn't noticed until now. As he advanced, she started lashing out but he was stronger than her, taller, and within a couple of seconds she was on the floor, face down, his knee in her back to hold her there. He deftly tied the rope around Rachel's wrists tightly before also tying the other end to the piping of the radiator. 'You shouldn't have messed with me, darlin'. Bet you're regretting it now, ain't ya?' As he looked down at her, he spat, showering her face with vile saliva.

Rachel, terrified and in pain from the force this bastard had used, began screaming wildly. Matthews slapped her hard across the face before shoving some sort of material in Rachel's mouth. She didn't know what it was, but it tasted fucking gross and made her gag slightly. She watched, wide-eyed and helpless, as her attacker walked out of the room and she heard some sort of noise, the sort of noise that would result in something heavy being dragged across the floor. Suddenly, the noise stopped and Matthews walked back into the room. 'Oh.. you're wondering what that is, I bet.' Unbelievably, he sounded almost jolly and conversational, which probably unnerved Rachel more than when he was angry. 'That was the wardrobe. It's heavy, I've probably hurt my back a bit now, bloody thing. Needed to put it in front of the door, you see? In case any of your buddies come looking for you.' he was smiling and talking as if he were merely describing the weather to a friend. 'I reckon.. it'll take.. what? Half hour, at the most, for your filth to be told about this little adventure.' He chuckled, once again in a rather friendly manner. 'That officer that was with you.. I mean, she's pretty.. but really? She looks like an idiot. I'm guessing she won't realize what's happened for a while yet, so.. we're safe for now.' He winked conspiratorially as he leaned forward and tucked a strand of Rachel's hair behind her ear. She flinched at his touch, causing him to grab her roughly by the chin. 'Don't fucking start. Don't make this more difficult for yourself than it needs to be, skanky bitch. I know what you're thinking... you think you'll be out of here soon enough, the police will come and knock down the door and that'll be it. But it won't happen like that at all. They'll send their negotiator and they won't lift a finger if they think I'll kill you.' His menacing voice sent a chill through Rachel. 'Fun, isn't it?' he asked, his tone returning to a more genial sound. She couldn't keep up with him.

Rachel felt a tear fall, followed by a few more. She knew he was right. The police would do as much as they could to ensure her safety, she could be in here for ages. Hell, she could.. and it was looking likely, Matthews was definitely a sociopath.. she could die in here. She whimpered softly, her cheek throbbing from the punch she'd received just now and flopped against the radiator feeling hopeless.

xxx

Janet walked into the office noting the different faces and once again silently cursing Kevin for being the cause of the team having to have all these stupid cover officers. She'd been to the school, but as she'd expected there was nothing new to add to the information they had really. Daysha was a quiet kid, a bit of a bookworm, shy and well liked by the teachers. She had few friends, though this was more due to her quietness than her being unlikable and not one person Janet had asked had been able to come up with a motive for her death. Although she was supposed to go to Kriss Kaye straight after her visit to the school, she made a detour back to the office as she'd forgotten her purse.

She knocked on Gill's door before going entering and sitting down at the desk opposite. 'Had any luck with Scary Mary?' she asked with a resigned voice, they all knew Mary would do what she had to do in her own time. And she wasn't called Scary for no reason.

'Stupid bitch.' Gill muttered, still staring at her computer screen. 'Oh.. her, not you.' Gill clarified hearing Janet gasp. 'Not really, she just went off on one moaning about their being too much work for her team, blah blah blah. Apparently too many people are being selfishly murdered for her liking at the moment. So I hung up on her. She'll call through when she's got any news. What are you doing back here?'

'Just came to pick up my purse, forgot it earlier. Been to the school and it was just as we thought it would be. Haven't heard one person give a reason for Daysha being murdered. I'll head off in a minute to get to her brother's. How are the.. officers?' she asked tentatively.

'Moody little bastards. They arrived about 45 minutes ago without so much as an apology and then wondered why I bollocked them. Then I rang up their DCI and bollocked him too. I've told them what's going on and I've already warned them that if I catch any of them slacking I'll be personally seeing to it that when they go back to their syndicates, they'll be placed on Disclosures for a _month_. Ah well, time will tell I guess. We're lucky that we should have our team back by the end of the week, so that's something.' she leaned back against her chair and rubbed her temples tiredly.

Janet gave her a warm smile before starting to get up. The phone rang, which made Gill swear loudly at it before picking it up.

'DCI Gill Murray.'

Janet couldn't hear what the other person was saying, so was trying to judge Gill's expression to help her know if it was good news or bad news.

'Yes, _I'm _DCI Murray!' Gill snapped to whoever it was, sounding exasperated. Janet smiled.

'WHAT?' she screeched, causing Janet to jump, her heart bursting into a gallop. She looked at Gill, oh God, she looked devastated. This couldn't be good news. Janet sat back down and tried to wait patiently, her foot tapping restlessly against the floor.

'Shit. Shit, shit, _fucking _shit.' Gill was looking around her office and her hand was clenched tightly around the receiver. 'Well what are you all doing?' there was a pause. 'I don't give a SHIT about you waiting for fucking command. I'M your command, get it? Get down there NOW!'

Janet felt concerned, thinking that another body had been found though even if it had, Gill rarely lost control like this. There was another pause from Gill as she waited for a response.

'I don't have time for this. I'll be in contact shortly.' she said hurriedly before slamming down the phone and looking at Janet with panic etched on her face.

'What's wrong, Gill?' Janet asked, wondering what on earth had happened to cause a reaction like this from her boss.

'It's.. it's Rachel.'

Janet's blood ran cold. She'd never understood that expression before, thought it was just a silly saying, but now she knew. Her blood ran like ice through her veins. Her eyes bulged, and she felt her heart twist violently. 'What?' she whispered. 'What's Rachel?'

'She's been taken hostage. By Reno Matthews. The guy who we questioned a couple of months back in relation to Daysha.' Gill glanced down at her hands, noting that now her knuckles were white with the force she was clutching the table.

'What the fuck are we waiting for? Let's get down there.' Janet stood up and ran for the door.

'Janet.. stop.' Gill pleaded, not liking how out of control she felt and how worried she was.

'Gill.. we can't just _stop_. This is _serious_. We need to get down there right _now_.' Janet's voice sounded strangled as she tried to quell the nausea that was rising up from her stomach.

'We're too involved. We might mess up the situation by letting our feelings for Rachel over-ride our judgement. Maybe we should let someone else get down there.' When she looked up at Janet, she was met with a look of incredulity.

'Are you joking? This is _Rachel. _It's RACHEL for fuck sake! I am _not _letting some fucking idiot that I don't even know go running in there and potentially fuck everything up. I don't _care _if you don't want to do this, I'm going down there and I'm getting her out of there. Right now.' Janet was wild-eyed as she tried to focus. Everything had been tipped upside down in less than two minutes... how the fuck was that possible?

'Janet,' Gill said more firmly, 'I know this might look as if I don't care, but deep down you know that's not true. I care about Rachel a lot, and I don't want to jeopardize things by us accidentally putting her in more danger because of how much we care about her. You know it can go that way sometimes, that's why when something like this happens another team gets involved. Not us. The officers need to have clear minds in order to get the best result.'

'Why are you wasting my TIME?' Janet was literally shouting now, causing the new officers to peek through the office window in alarm. 'Let me tell you straight.. I. Don't. Give. A. Fuck. What. You. Think. Is that clear? That is MY best friend in there, MY Rachel, having god knows what happen to her, and you want me to sit here and pretend it's not fucking happening? Have you lost your MIND? Don't be ridiculous, Gill. Now, you can either give me your permission to go, or I will go without it. Either way, I'm going. It's your choice and you have about two seconds to make it because every minute I'm here talking through this SHIT with you, I could be down there HELPING Rachel.' She stared down at Gill with her piercing blue eyes, the anger flashing clearly. 'Fucking sack me if you want, but I'm getting my arse down there now. No matter what you say. You can't stop me.'

'Fine,' Gill sighed, picking up her bag from her feet. 'Let's go.' As they raced out of the office, Gill called behind her to the officers looking on in surprise; 'Mark? John? Samuel? Oh, I don't fucking know your names, the one with the bald patch.. you're in charge.'


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

As Gill's car raced over to the temporary office that had been set up for officers who were either negotiating with Matthews or were in some other way involved with the hostage situation, Janet stared out of the passenger seat window, mind racing almost as much as the scenery outside as the car continued to hurtle down the roads. She was pulled out of her depressing thoughts as Gill's phone rang, and without checking with her boss, she answered.

'Janet Scott.' Wow, her voice didn't sound right, it didn't sound like her. She looked over at Gill who was signalling for her to put the phone on loudspeaker which she did.

'Can I speak to DCI Murray?' the person at the end of the phone asked, the sound - slightly tinny - echoing throughout the car.

'Speaking.' Gill said, her voice strained as she fought to keep in control.

'Hello. This is DCI Crocker. I wanted to inform you that my team have been placed on the hostage case concerning a.. a DC Rachel Bailey. I believe she is from your-'

'Yes, yes. She's one of mine. I'm on my way over now with my DS. Is there any news?' Gill snapped, her voice laced with impatience.

'You're on your way? Do you think that's the best-'

'I think that if one of my best officers is in a fucking hostage situation, I will make it my business to be there. Do you have a problem with that?'

'Er- no, I suppose not. It's just not really procedu-'

'I don't care! Is there any news?'

'Fine. No, there isn't any news. We've only just arrived ourselves. We're going to send our negotiator up there now to see if we can calm down the situation.' DCI Crocker sounded annoyed. He didn't appreciate being talked down to like an errant boy.. he was a DCI thank you very much!

'Right, we'll be there in less than five minutes.' Gill said, nodding at Janet to hang up the phone. 'I knew they'd moan about me coming down.'

'Well _you_ didn't have to. I would have come down myself. I never asked for your company. You're the one who decided to step in.' Janet retorted, taking every comment from anyone else as a personal attack, and not really caring about it. She had bigger things to worry about than whether or not she was overreacting.

It was probably testament to Gill's friendship with her colleague that she didn't snap back and pursue an argument. If it had been anyone else, they would have faced the full brunt of her wrath and she would have enjoyed letting off steam. But she knew that the only reason that Janet was being like this was because she was currently sick with worry. So Gill bit her tongue, something she wasn't used to, and simply drove on.

xxx

Rachel lifted her head up from where it had been lolling against the radiator. Her cheek hurt a lot, her back was killing her, the ropes were so tightly tied around her wrists that they chafed roughly with every breath she took and she felt generally uncomfortable. The vile gag was still wedged in her mouth ensuring that she could only lean her head back for short periods of time before she felt suffocated. She looked over to where Matthews was. He was leering at her, making her skin crawl. She guessed that she'd been here for about.. twenty minutes though it felt like much longer. The negotiation team were probably just arriving and setting up a temporary office in a back of a van or some other unlikely place now. Who knew how long she would be here for. If she got out, that is. Her head jerked up as Matthews started to approach her.

'It's boring isn't it?' He grinned, sounding as if he hadn't a care in the world. 'I mean, in all those cop shows all this stuff looks way more fun doesn't it? I have to be honest, I was expecting a bit more excitement." He chuckled then, winking at Rachel. 'Shall I take that thing out of your mouth? We could talk then, pass some time.' Rachel nodded wildly, making garbled sounds. 'You won't scream?' He asked, causing her to shake her head. Anything to get this fucking disgusting thing out of her mouth. 'If you do... you will pay for it. Understood?' A hint of his contempt came through. Once again Rachel nodded. 'Okay. Good girl.' He took out the gag and put it in his pocket.

Rachel took in deep lungfuls of air, gulping it down gratefully. She realized he was looking at her expectantly. 'Thanks.' she said, trying to hide her hatred, wondering why the hell she was supposed to thank someone who was keeping her hostage.

'I wonder what they're up to down there right now.' Matthews mused, his voice still very conversational. 'Probably wondering how serious I am.' He smirked, and then looked directly at Rachel. 'Very serious, if you were wondering. I'm sick of you. All of you.' His tone once again darkened. He was all over the place and that probably scared Rachel more than anything. She couldn't get a grip on him at all, because he was constantly changing from one mood to another.

'The police?' Rachel asked, remembering the training she'd been taught years back about how you needed to keep a captor talking if you were taken hostage.

'Not _just _the police. But yeah.. you're all bastards. Making up all these rules, these laws. Can't do this, can't do that. Even if someone tries to fuck you over. Even if she doesn't do what she's supposed to.' His voice was low and his eyes were burning bright with anger. Rachel shrank back as much as she could, the space around her being limited.

'Who is she? Me?' Rachel wasn't sure if this was the best line of conversation to go down but it must be better than no conversation, right?

'No. Not you, you stupid bitch. _Her_. Daysha. That little slut.' he snarled, spittle precariously dangling from his lower lip in his rage.

'Oh.' Rachel replied, her heart sinking. Shit, before now she'd just had her suspicions, had tried to brush them away and think positively. Now he had basically just admitted to killing that girl. She was officially being held captive by a mad killer. 'Why did you do it? What did she do?'

'ENOUGH!' He suddenly shouted, causing Rachel to jump and the ropes binding her wrists to tug painfully. 'That's enough from you. Nosy bitch. Fuck you.' He roughly shoved the gag back into her mouth. She watched him through frightened eyes as he stormed across the room to a chest of drawers. He opened the top one and for a minute Rachel couldn't see what he was reaching for. After a moment of rummaging, he suddenly produced two objects which made Rachel gasp - and subsequently gag - as her eyes filled with tears. He placed the gun and bloodied knife on top of the drawers, closed the top one and turned towards her, his eyes seeming to glint with hatred. She tried to form words, but the gag made it impossible and he laughed cruelly at her feeble attempts.

He picked up his weapons and walked towards her, squatting in front of her and holding them in turn in front of her face. 'They're in good condition, aren't they?' he smiled, his anger of a moment before now forgotten. 'I mean, apart from the blood on the knife. I was going to clean it up this morning.. but then _you_ showed up. Never mind though, eh? No point in cleaning it if it's going to be used again.' Rachel whimpered, the tears flowing fast, her nose filling with mucus which was making it hard to breathe. He stood up and booted her forcefully in the stomach which resulted in a resounding crack and made her scream, though the sound was muffled and she dropped her head wondering if she would ever see outside of this room again.

xxx

Leaving Janet pacing around the makeshift office and therefore making everyone feel a bit on edge, Gill crept outside and lit up a much needed cigarette. She leaned against the wall, trying to feel a sense of calm. She hated when things like this happened. Thankfully it wasn't a regular occurrence but that was only a small blessing right now. As she stood there, after realizing that calm was defiantly refusing to help her out, she reflected on her team. Because of the long hours, demanding roles and just the pure horror that they experienced every single day working on MIT, most officers she'd encountered through the years didn't have exactly happy home lives. Such was the case with her current team. And this sort of made them some kind of family. A bloody dysfunctional one admittedly, but a family nonetheless. Not that she'd _ever _admit that to them, they'd think she'd gone soft which she most _certainly_ hadn't. Most of the time she wanted to throttle them, especially Kevin, but when something like this happened it made her realize how much she did value them. She thought about Rachel. God, there were times when she wanted to strangle her, fire her, never see her face again, but there was definitely something about the young officer. Gill cared about her, much as she loathed to admit it, and she felt ill as she wondered what was happening to her. Rachel reminded Gill of a younger her, stumbling about trying to learn the ropes but beneath it all being a bloody good copper.

As soon as she finished her cigarette, she pulled another one out. She wasn't a regular smoker, not any more, but she always tried to remember to carry a pack around with her.. just in case. And this was definitely a 'just in case' moment. As soon as she'd lit up her second one, her mobile rang and she felt so at odds with herself that she jumped a foot in the air. She glanced around surreptitiously to check no one had seen the DCI lose her cool before hitting the answer button on her phone.

'DCI Gill Murray.'

'Ma'am? It's Kevin. Lumb. DC Kevin Lumb. Ma'am.' Gill rolled her eyes.

'What is it?'

'I've just got back to the office ma'am, and.. well you're not here. And Janet's not here. And Rachel isn't here. And there's a lot of strange people who I don't know.'

'You're a twat, Lumb.. you know that?' she paused to inhale. 'The "strange people" are the cover officers. What is wrong with you?'

'Oh.. yeah. I forgot. One of them said he was in charge now. Why?'

'Because shit has hit the fan basically and Janet and I are trying to sort it out.'

'No. I meant why aren't I in charge?' his tone was plaintive. 'I'm being ordered around and I've spent all my time since I got back in the office making cups of tea.'

'That's what you do anyway..' Gill trailed off, not feeling up to having a conversation with this idiot.

'Yeah, but-'

'No buts. Also, I know for a fact that if I had put you in charge, your first order would have been for someone to go and get you cake. Guaranteed.'

'I wouldn't.. not at all.. _never_. That would be so unprofessional.' He sounded unconvincing to his own ears, let alone Godzilla's, who had some sort of sixth sense for this kinda thing. 'Fine, but I'd share. Anyway, what's going on over there? One of the blokes here said that you and Janet were having a really bad argument and then you apparently both just ran out of the office. Where have you gone?'

'Fucking office gossip. Ugh. I'll tell you later, okay? I've got to get back. Go and do what you're told.' She hung up the phone and lolled against the wall again. She took some deep breaths to try and get herself together. What she really wanted right now was permission to be human for a minute. To be honest about how nervous she felt, admit that she was beating herself up about her delegation of tasks this morning to her team, maybe even shed a tear at the stress of it all. But she couldn't. She was the boss, the woman who could handle everything, the one everyone looked to when something went wrong, the one they all expected to have her shit together. She flicked the second cigarette into the gutter and walked back into the office.. only her clenched hands giving any indication that she wasn't as calm and collected as she was trying to come across.

xxx

As Janet paced the small room, her mind raced on.. and on. She tried to stop them, but it just wasn't working. She didn't notice Gill sneaking out for a cigarette, she just continued to pace and stare at.. well, nothing. She wondered what was wrong with her; she'd worked with situations like this in the past. Hell, 15 years ago when she was relatively new to the force, her close friend had been abducted and they hadn't known anything for 3 days. Thankfully he came back unharmed, physically at least, but the point was that Janet didn't freak out as much about that as she was currently doing. She'd cried, sure and she'd been bloody determined to get him back but she could focus. She had a clear head. But now, with Rachel, she was pretty much a wreck. With every fibre of her being she wanted to march up there, storm in and get her. She didn't even care if she got hurt in the process. It wasn't good. It wasn't safe. And because, somewhere deep, deep down, she knew this, she refrained from doing so. But it was getting more difficult with every passing minute. Her heart was hammering furiously, her ears were ringing, her hands were shaking. Why? Well, she didn't want to think of that. Instead she turned to one of the officers. "What is _happening?_ Why are we all waiting around like fucking idiots? This is _ridiculous_.'

'Sarge,' the young DC said patiently, 'As I told you a couple of minutes ago, we _can't_ go rushing in there, not with one of your officers being held hostage. We don't know what weapons he has and we don't know how likely he is to harm her. DS Ashcroft is talking to our team's top negotiator, filling him in on the little information we know, and then we'll be able to move forward with the plan.'

'But there _is _no plan!' Janet said, her anger apparent. '_That's _the problem!'

Gill suddenly appeared beside Janet and put a hand under her arm to guide her away and into a corner of the room. 'You need to calm down or I'll have to send you home, Jan.' She raised her hand to silence Janet as she tried to interrupt. 'I don't want to do that, but these lot are just trying to do their job. This is what I told you earlier, this is why other teams get involved.'

Janet raised a hand to cover her eyes. 'I'm sorry.' she whispered. 'I just feel so helpless. Don't send me home, it'll be even worse there. Isn't there anything I can do?'

'I know,' Gill squeezed her friend's arm briefly, 'I know it's shit. Give them a chance to inform the negotiator and all that usual stuff and then I'll ask them if there's anything they need help with, okay?'

xxx

'They're taking their time, aren't they?' Matthews pondered. 'Maybe they don't care. Maybe they think I should just kill you already.' He paused, 'Maybe they're right.'

Rachel's eyes widened, instinctively trying to move back, to get away from this monster but the radiator was in the way. He laughed at her, looking like a complete madman. Her tears had finally stopped and she'd assumed she was all cried out, but now she wasn't so sure. She kept trying to make noises, but every time she did it was pointless. All her words were mumbled and garbled and every time she flexed her tongue to attempt to form the words, the taste of the cloth in her mouth made her gag. After a while, she'd given up.

'Maybe I should make you wait longer. I'm sorry but I quite enjoy watching you feel frightened.' he didn't sound the least bit apologetic, which wasn't surprising really. 'But.. I also like it when you scream.. it's funny. You try and try. Aww look at you, panicking.' he laughed, a hard edge once again creeping into his voice. He'd been sat in a chair a few feet away from Rachel, his weapons on the table next to him, but now he stood up, picking up the knife as he did so, and stealthily made his way over to Rachel.

She whimpered again, pleading, _begging_ him with her eyes. Realistically she knew that it would take a while for a negotiator to be brought up to speed on the case and then enter the scene, she knew that, but holy shit it felt like it was taking forever. Why she was pinning her hopes on this fucking negotiator she didn't know; they would wait for hours if they needed to, trying to get the best outcome. And this bastard, this Matthews prick, had a fucking gun! A knife was bad enough, but shitting hell, a _gun_? She would be dead in seconds.

He watched her, almost curiously, and Rachel guessed that we was probably wondering what she was thinking about, how she was feeling. That seemed to be a popular way of monsters like him to get their kicks. Of course, the shaking, tears, moans, cries, bruises gave him some idea, but it didn't seem to be enough for him. He knelt in front of Rachel and brushed her cheek, causing her to flinch, earning her another blow to the face, snapping her head back with the force and causing her head to bash against the radiator. Another bout of tears escaped and she tried to keep stock-still as he reached out to touch her again. His hand landed on her shoulder, which was hard enough, but when he started moving a hand down she couldn't handle it. One of her legs kicked out and she tried to tell him to "fuck off" around the constraints of the cloth. Big mistake. As she realized just how stupid she had been, he let out some sort of roar and, as quick as a flash, whipped forward before going back to his chair and staring at her intently.

At first, she didn't realize. In fact, for a split-second, she mentally congratulated herself and assumed that Matthews bark must be worse than his bite. It was only when she paid closer attention to him, or rather to the knife that was dangling loosely from his hand, that she saw the fresh blood dripping from the tip, making a puddle on the floor. At the exact same moment she felt something wet and hot oozing down her stomach. And then, just after these realizations, she felt the pain. The hot, stabbing, burning, searing pain as she looked down in shock and saw blood spill mercilessly down her front, the source being the large and seemingly deep gash across her stomach.


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry about the delay with this chapter; after leaving the last chapter on a rather mean cliffhanger, I had planned to write and update the story within a couple of days but I've been in hospital. This is also my poor excuse for if this chapter is even more rough around the edges than usual, please forgive me and please enjoy :) xx**

Chapter 3

Rachel looked up slowly, the shock draining all colour from her face. Now that she'd noticed the pain, it was all she could think about. She looked into her captor's eyes, her own eyes wide, her breathing becoming laboured as she came to realize just how dangerous a situation she was in. In return, Matthews laughed heartily, unnerving Rachel more. Her natural reaction was to bring her hands to the wound, to try and press against it to stem bleeding, but she didn't have these options. She had tried to move her hands, but the ropes tugged painfully against her wrists and she was left with no choice but to slump back against the radiator. She looked again up at Matthews, eyes pleading, muffled pleas trying to be heard around the ball of filthy cloth in her mouth.

"Bet that hurts doesn't it?" Matthews asked in a conversational tone. He shook his head sympathetically when Rachel nodded. "It won't kill you straight away, you know? It wasn't that deep a cut. You've got a while left yet, darlin'." He moved towards her again, causing her to squeeze her eyes shut in fear, only for them to pop open in surprise a moment later at the feel of the gag being removed from her mouth. "I don't want no shit from you, no screams, no asking stupid questions or next time I'll do a lot more damage." Matthews jerked his head back towards the knife, going back to sit on his chair when he was satisfied by Rachel's apparent acceptance of terms.

Rachel inhaled deeply, the taste of the rancid cloth still remaining on her tongue. "Thank you," she said quietly to an expectant Matthews. Her mind continued to race as she gulped air, she felt freezing which she knew was because of the blood loss and shock and she could feel herself trembling. She glanced over to Matthews who was sat in his chair looking perfectly at ease with the situation.

Both of their heads shot up as the phone started to ring shrilly.

xxx

"Have they come up with anything yet?" Janet was sat at a small desk opposite Gill, her fingers tapping rapidly on the table, her foot jerking energetically, showing the full extent of her anxiety.

"We found Matthews' landline number on our database and I think the current plan of action is to attempt contact via that route. While DS Ashcroft was talking to the team the armed response unit arrived and have positioned themselves around the perimeters so they're all set to go too." Gill sounded tired, her usually well-cemented mask starting to slip, something which was very rare for her.

Janet ingested this information. While she wanted the team to just go in there and get Rachel, she knew that it would almost certainly end badly. To her, the next best thing would have been for them to send the negotiator to the front door and talk to Matthews that way, though rationally she knew that the decision to make contact via the phone was the right one. They didn't know how volatile Matthews was or how likely he was to harm Rachel and he was less likely to feel threatened if contact was initiated this way. It didn't stop Janet letting out a groan of annoyance though. "Who is the negotiator?"

"Iain Reid, apparently he is one of the best."

"_One _of the best? He'd better bloody be _the_ best. Where is he? When are they going to call?"

"They're just across the road, I think they're about to-" Gill was cut off as Janet swept out of the makeshift office and crossed the road to join the rest of the team.

"Hi," Janet said as she entered the small room causing the four officers to look up in surprise. "I'm DS Janet Scott and it's one of my team that is being held hostage. I want to sit in on this negotiation." She sat down next to the desk where the telephone was, looking expectantly at the negotiator and gesturing with her head to the phone. As he reached for it, the door swung open again and they all looked up to see Gill walk in.

"I guess I'm sitting in on this one as well." Gill muttered, feeling the strain of today take its toll. "Can we make a start? Each minute we're fanny-arsing around is another minute that DC Bailey is left in the hands of a fucking sociopath."

Reid raised his eyebrows before picking up the telephone once more. He looked over at another officer who was wearing a headset and had a recording device in front of him and waited for the nod. Once he was reassured that it was all set up properly he began dialling. Janet held her breath as she could her the receiver ringing.

xxx

"Hello?" Matthews answered the phone gruffly, looking menacingly at Rachel.

"Hello, this is Iain. Iain Reed. Is this Mr Matthews?"

"Who the fuck are you?"

"I'm Iain. I'm phoning to talk to you about Rachel, the woman you're holding hostage."

Matthews laughed cruelly, staring at Rachel with an intensity that only served to scare her further. She was starting to feel woozy, the pain almost starting to subside under the overwhelming need to close her eyes and drift away. She was sure that it was the negotiator on the phone and that small glimmer of hope was just enough for her to fight against the urge to let everything go, but it was getting harder with every passing second.

"What about her?" Matthews sneered, contempt clear in his voice.

"Is she okay, Reno?"

"I don't think that's any of your business." he scoffed, a twisted grin on her face.

"Reno, please. All we want to know is that she is safe and unharmed. And then we can help you, we can try and make things better for you."

"_We_? Who do you mean?" Matthews asked before covering the mouthpiece with his hand and glancing over at Rachel; "I knew it would get exciting, this is more like it. They're so funny!" Removing his hand and pressing the phone back to his ear, he awaited a response.

"I have a couple of officers here with me; all we want to do is help, Reno. Is Rachel okay? Can we speak to her?" As Iain spoke, Janet looked up with a look of hope on her face, all she wanted, more than anything else right now, was to know that Rachel was okay.

"Why?"

"Just so we know she's okay, Reno, that's all. Would that be okay?"

"Hang on a minute!" Matthews snapped. He removed the phone from his ear and walked towards Rachel. "They want to talk to you. Tell them you're okay or I'll make you regret it." he muttered as he knelt down to face her. "Do you understand me?" His voice was soft, conversational, though Rachel knew he meant every word he said. She nodded slightly and he talked back into the phone. "You have two minutes."

"Thank you." Iain said, though before he even got the last word out Janet had grabbed the phone after hearing that they would be allowed to talk to her best friend. Everyone else in the room frowned at her and she knew she'd have some explaining to do afterwards but right now she didn't care. She gripped the phone tightly and waited to hear Rachel's voice.

"Hello?" Rachel said weakly as Matthews pressed the phone against her ear.

"Rachel?!" Janet squeaked with relief. "Oh, thank God. Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Are you?" she asked automatically, once again having to resist the urge to close her eyes.

"Don't worry about me, mate. We're going to get you out of there soon, okay? I promise. Has he hurt you? Is he listening in on what you're saying?"

"Mmm." Rachel replied non-committically, hoping to convey to Janet what was happening, knowing that if she dared say what Matthews had done to her, she'd suffer for it.

"He _is _listening in? Okay. Just say yes if he's hurt you." Janet said, her knuckles white with the pressure used on gripping the phone.

"Yes." Rachel whispered, her energy sinking rapidly, the wooziness threatening to overwhelm everything else. Janet lost all the colour to her face as she listened, and sank back into her chair without realizing.

"Shit. That fucking prick." she muttered, her voice growing thick. "You listen to me, Rach. We're gonna get you out really soon, okay? You need to stay awake for me, please. Please."

"I will." Rachel replied, not really listening as she slumped back against the radiator.

"You'd better, or you'll have me to answer to when you get out." Janet said, trying to insert some enthusiasm into her voice but not quite managing it. Iain caught her eye and gestured for her to hand the phone back. "I'm going to put the negotiator back on the phone now, okay? It's going to be okay, Rach, you're going to be fine. I promise." she wasn't sure if she was trying to convince Rachel of that fact or herself. She gave the phone back and stood up swiftly, crossing the room and heading outside closely followed by Gill.

"Rachel, this is Iain Reid, I'm one of the team who are working to get you out of there. I suspect Mr Matthews will take the phone back again shortly, so I just wanted to personally reassure you that we are working as fast as we possibly can to get you out safely."

"Thank you." Rachel said softly, her head drooping as her eyes closed.

xxx

"What the hell was that?" Gill said as soon as she and Janet were out on the street.

"What?" Janet muttered, hearing her heart pounding in her ears, battling to keep the tears at bay.

"Snatching the phone in the middle of a fucking hostage situation phone-call?"

"Don't give me that shit, Gill. I saw your hand twitching, you wanted to do the same."

"Yes. But I _didn't_. You could have jeopardized the whole fucking case! We're all _worried_ if you hadn't noticed, but if you can't keep your shit together I can assure you I will send you home. I'm not having Rachel's life put at stake because you let your emotions get in the way." Gill snapped as she followed her colleague further down the street.

Janet whirled around to face Gill, her nostrils flared and eyes wide with anger. "Don't you _dare_ accuse me of putting my best friend's life at stake! If I heard _any_ sign of Matthews taking control of the phone again I would have handed it straight back to Reid. I just thought that Rachel would need to hear a familiar voice at a time when she's probably scared out of her fucking mind. When Geoff got me, you didn't think twice about storming into my house before you knew that he wasn't even there, so don't think you can tell me not to get emotionally involved." She leaned against the wall, watching as Gill lit a cigarette. "He's fucking hurt her." Janet's voice broke. "She sounded completely out of it and he's hurt her. We _have_ to get in there, Gill. There are no other options. We were worried about her safety if we burst in there, but now we know her safety has already been compromised. You need to talk to them and tell them to go in there. I promised her we would get her out quickly." Her voice rang with desperation as she looked down and noted with weary surprise that her hands were shaking.

Gill reached out and touched Janet's arm. "You're right, I'm sorry. To be honest, I think DCI Crocker will be thinking exactly the same as you; if Rachel has already been harmed there is a greater need to gain access as soon as possible. From what I could tell earlier, Matthews flat is surrounded by the armed response unit and they are ready to move forward as soon as the word is given. They're probably discussing it right now in there."

Janet nodded curtly in response and moved herself off of the wall, turning to head back into the small room to hear what their plans were. "You coming?"

"I'll be there in a sec," Gill replied, rubbing her temple tiredly as she watched Janet disappear back into the room. It was days like this that made her wish fiercely for her retirement. It was these days that made her doubt her ability, efficiency and responsibilities. Suddenly she felt much older than her years and she yearned to be home with Sammy, or even to be back at the office arguing with Dave. Just not here, not now, not with one of her officers in a life-threatening situation. She inhaled one last drag of her cigarette and flicked it away before heading to join Janet.

xxx

"We have armed response covering the stairs to Matthews flat, just outside of his flat, in the car park outside and we've just gained access to the block of flats opposite his. Some of the team are already heading to the balcony opposite Matthews flat and we're fairly sure that we'll be able to see through his window when they get positioned. Obviously that will give us a greater advantage. The building has been evacuated and the road has been cordoned off at both ends. All we are waiting for now is for the armed unit to get situated on the balcony and inform of us what they can see and what the likelihood of successfully storming the flat would be. We should hear from them any minute now." DS Ashcroft said to the room who were paying rapt attention and scribbling fuiously on their notepads. He looked over at Reid and nodded briefly.

"Okay, so from the telephone call with Matthews we have gathered that DC Bailey has been harmed. We don't know the extent of such, but she sounded weak and somewhat groggy on the phone so we are taking that as indication that the injury - or injuries, we don't know if there are multiple wounds - is quite serious. Matthews sounded almost manic which makes me convinced that he is definitely of a dangerous mind, probably more than most. Most captors I speak to are either consistently angry or consistently nervous, but Matthews seemed to swing from intense anger to speaking almost as if he were talking to an old friend, I'm sure you all understand that this doesn't reflect well on his mental stability." He looked around before continuing. "Basically, it's my opinion that ten hours of negotiating with this man would be as effective as ten minutes of doing such. He wouldn't benefit from it and I don't think it is the way to get the best result we can in the quickest timeframe. I've explained all this to DCI Crocker and DS Ashcroft and I agree that the best route to take is using the armed response unit as soon as we are able to." Janet nodded fiercely, feeling relieved that things actually seemed to be moving forward now and praying that it wouldn't be too late. She couldn't allow herself to think of the worst case scenario as she knew that if she did, she would almost certainly have some sort of breakdown. It had only been a couple of hours since they'd found out Rachel had been taken hostage but they were two of the worst hours of her life.

"DS Ashcroft?" a voice echoed over the police radio causing everyone to whip their heads around.

"Speaking. Any progress?"

"We've situated ourselves on the bacony opposite the captor's place of residence as requested, sir." the voice replied, followed by some distorted noise coming over the radio, probably caused by his movement.

"Excellent. Is it a good vantage point?"

"We can see through the window, sir. I can see a male sat in a chair, and a pair of legs on the floor which I'm assuming belong to the female hostage. We can't see her completely, just the legs but Matthews is in complete view."

"Okay, well that's something. You are being careful aren't you? If Matthews sees you this will almost certainly end badly." DS Ashcroft asked, his fingertips drumming against the desk.

"Yes sir. Whoever lives in the flat that accompanies this balcony has some apparent affinity with greenery. I'm hid behind a rather large plant pot and the two other officers are covered by flower baskets. Even if he turns around and looks up, I'm fairly positive we won't be noticed."

"Good. What's the likelihood of a positive outcome if you storm it now?"

"I think we would be better equipped if we wait for him to move. At the moment he has his back to us and he's sat down so we don't have full range to attack him and protect the hostage. We'd have more chance of being successful if we catch him while he's a walking target."

"Okay. Keep me updated please."

"Will do, sir."

Silence spread through the room then, and Janet could feel the nausea returning again. She glanced at Gill and was surprised that even she looked a bit green. Some part of her brain wondered if she should talk to Gill, inquire if she was okay, but the rest of her found that she couldn't open her mouth let alone start up a conversation. She sat in her chair, staring at nothing in particular, trying to bargain with God which was ridiculous seeming as she didn't believe in it. But desperate times called for desperate measures.

The whole room felt the tense atmosphere, the silence was almost suffocating though necessary they felt. However, after a few minutes that silence was shattered and everyone jumped in surprise as a gunshot rang out.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

As soon as Janet registered the loud cracking noise as a gunshot she leaped up from her chair, eyes wide in obvious terror, unaware of her nails digging forcefully into her palms as her hands formed fists. She looked around the room wildly, eyes glancing at everything but not really seeing anything and only noticed that Gill had also stood up when she felt her boss' hand cover her own.

Gill moved her hand away and instead looped her arm around Janet's, not only as a sign of reassurance but also to prevent Janet from running up to Matthews' flat and storming in there herself which Gill was almost positive was going to be Janet's next move. She looked over at DS Ashcroft and asked in her usual sharp clipped tone which only slightly conveyed the hot mass of anxiety that she was experiencing; 'What the fuck was that?'

In reality, although it felt like an endless amount of time, only a couple of seconds had passed before the rest of the office thawed from their frozen positions and immediately set to work, shouts emanating throughout the makeshift room, a flurry of activity once more commencing. DS Ashcroft was banging the radio against the table which confused Janet deeply until she realized that he was probably having some trouble getting through to the armed response team and was acting like such through frustration. Another gunshot rang out causing everyone to jump once again, slight cries coming from their open mouths.

'Hello?' he called again after bringing the radio back to his mouth. 'Hello? Will somebody fucking answer me!'

There was once again no answer, no weird noises coming over the radio, no shouts. Just silence. One of the young officers approached his DS and shakily asked what their plan of action was. Although they would probably all like to stand and shout and scream at the useless radio, now really wasn't the time to do it and they needed their superior to lead the way forward and tell them what on earth to do. Throughout this, Janet and Gill stood in the middle of the room, the eye of the storm, looking very much like two very scared lost children.

'Right..' DS Ashcroft started, his forehead sweaty and his voice filled with urgency. 'Okay. _Shit_. Someone needs to find out what the fuck is wrong with this radio. We don't even know who the hell has been shot at which means I have no idea whether to storm Matthews' residence or whether he's still armed and dangerous. If he is, we risk putting Rachel in further danger and also endangering our own team.' He looked around and for once in his life resented being the one in charge. He didn't feel equipped to deal with this and that thought unnerved him even more. 'Right. Jones, I want you to-'

His rambling speech was cut short as the radio seemed to crackle back into communication again and he immediately raised it to his mouth once more, praying that it was actually working this time. 'Hello? Hello, can you hear me?'

'DS Ashcroft?' The same voice as before echoed over the radio causing a sense of relief to wash through the waiting DS.

'Yes! What the fuck has happened? What were those gunshots? Has anyone been injured?'

'As we were watching from our vantage point, the captor stood up and walked towards what we presume is the hostage victim with a gun in his hand, sir. I tried to make contact with you but had no response and so I gave the go-ahead to shoot. I'm sorry I couldn't notify you beforehand, the radio appeared to be broken.'

Relief flooded the office and Janet felt herself sag only now becoming aware that she'd held her breath up until now. She hadn't realized just how terrified she'd been and although the feeling of immediate danger had eased slightly, she was still all too aware that Rachel was seriously injured. As she stood there trying to process this new information and daring to re-ignite that glimmer of hope within her, she felt Gill squeeze her arm tightly and glanced over to her only to see the same trepidation written all over her boss' face as she felt herself. They both looked back towards DS Ashcroft, hearts hammering as they waited for his response.

'Yes, I don't know what happened with the radio's but no need to apologise, you did the correct thing. Did Matthews' get hit?'

'Yes, sir. We aimed for his leg with the first shot in an attempt to disable him but not kill him though even after we got him the first time, he seemed to be intent on hurting the captive and we saw him reach for his gun once more. Obviously we had to take further action and have managed to seriously injure, if not kill, the target. Our men are currently at the door of the residence and are making their way inside which is proving trickier than first presumed as there seems to be a blockage behind the front door, sir.'

'Okay. Well.. okay.' DS Ashcroft replied, his head reeling at the barrage of information. 'Just get in there as fast as you can, go through a window if you have to, we need to reach DC Bailey.'

'Yes, sir.' the tinny voice replied. 'While they are obtaining access to the property, some of our men are still keeping a close eye on the target. Hang on..' the team in the office all held their breath in anticipation. 'Okay, yes. We're in.'

'Good. Check Matthews' first, remove his weapons, if he is still alive handcuff him, I'm going to send the waiting paramedics up there now. If Matthews' puts up any resistance.. well, use your common sense.'

xxx

As Janet ran up the seemingly endless flights of stairs to reach Matthews' flat, she wasn't really thinking about anything at all. Except Rachel, of course, and the intense need she felt to be by her best friend's side. She could hear someone shouting behind her, Gill probably, but it didn't slow her down. In fact, it only served to propel her forwards faster, her heart pounding painfully, her breath now coming out in sporadic pants, some sort of headache forming. None of this mattered though. She'd just been told that Rachel was unconscious. Well, not told exactly, she had heard it over the radio, but regardless, as soon as she'd heard this, she'd wrenched her arm from Gill's grasp and had sprinted out of the office, up the road and was now storming up the stairs with an almost primal need to get there. Alongside the feeling of fierce protectiveness, the only other notable emotion she felt was an almost eerie numbness. She couldn't believe that Rachel, _her _Rachel, was this badly injured. What if... she stopped that train of thought, knowing that if she even attempted to contemplate the worst case scenario then she would lose the already slipping mask of being okay. As she'd approached the bottom flight of stairs she had noticed that she was hot on the heels of the paramedics and this thought relieved her. Obviously Rachel needed serious medical help and the sooner she got it the better and soon Janet would be there too, which she knew was what Rachel would want. Finally she turned left at the top of one flight of stairs and ran like a woman possessed to what was obviously Matthews' flat. Some of the armed response unit was still outside, no longer needed but still awaiting instruction from their superior, and there was shattered glass everywhere- presumably from where someone had kicked the window through. Instead of having to climb through that herself though, thankfully someone had managed to move whatever had been blocking the door and she strode in, taken aback immediately by the stench but purposefully ignoring it and following noises until she stumbled into the front room.

As she surveyed the scene in front of her, Janet felt unexpected tears spring to her eyes. Clearly the paramedics had only just arrived which wasn't surprising, but meant that Rachel still had her hands tied roughly to the piping of the radiator, her eyes closed, head drooped, bruising all over her face, blood soaking her top and dripping onto the uncarpeted floor and her mouth slack. She was bent into a rather unnatural position which Janet presumed was due to the way she was bound, but it still broke her heart as she looked at the woman who- just a few hours earlier- had been her usually bubbly, larger-than-life self. Without even checking whether Matthews' was dead or alive, if he still posed a danger, she ran to Rachel's side, kneeling beside her and deftly starting to untie the tight knots of the rope that kept her bound. It took all of Janet's concentration as these were well-tied knots and she didn't notice Gill enter the room nor hear the gasp that emanated from her boss' mouth. It was only when she'd managed to get the very last knot untied - inadvertently causing Rachel to slump against her- and she shifted slightly to accommodate the weight that she noticed Gill stood just inside the doorway.

'We need to get her to hospital, miss. She is losing blood rapidly.' one of the kindly paramedics said to Janet when he'd finished his preliminary checks and had noted Janet's fierce stance around her injured friend. 'I know it's difficult, but please let us just get her on this stretcher and into hospital.'

Janet looked surprised, only now realizing that she was almost covering Rachel's body with her own as if keeping guard and warning everyone to stay away. She looked up to the paramedic and nodded, repositioning herself as tears continued to streak unnoticed down her face. As she watched three paramedics gently load Rachel onto the stretcher, she stood up, taking one of Rachel's hands in her own and brushing her hair away from her face tenderly. She sensed Gill come to stand next to her and although aware that she was probably due for another lecture about 'jeopardizing the case' right now, she didn't care. What she didn't expect was her boss to lean in, her mouth to Janet's ear and ask quietly, 'Are you alright, cock?'

'I'm going with her. Rachel. In the ambulance. I don't care what anyone says, I'm doing it. I'm not leaving her alone.'

'Stop thinking everyone is against you. No one will stop you going in the ambulance, it's fine. I understand. I'll follow you in the car and meet you up there. Oh, and just to so you know, Matthews is dead.'

'Good.' Janet spat, an almost terrifying look flashing across her face briefly. 'If he wasn't, I would've had a go.'

xxx

'I thought you were going to stay awake for me, hmm? You definitely owe me at least one drink for breaking your promise!' Janet murmured quietly, moving jerkily as the ambulance hurtled towards the hospital and trying to ignore the intrusive wailing noise from the siren as she held Rachel's hand and leaned in close to her, desperately hoping that Rachel could hear her. 'You're going to be alright, Rach. I promise. You're going to be right as rain. If not, you'll have me to deal with. So you need to fight, okay? You need to fight this. Please, Rachel.' her voice broke as she continued to plea with her unconscious friend. 'You're the strong one, Rach. You always have been, the one who picks herself up and gets on with it. Don't you dare give up. Don't you fucking dare.'

The ambulance continued to make its way through the roads, clearing the way with its siren and Gill had her foot on the accelerator, speeding behind the vehicle and not overly giving a shit about how many red lights she'd probably gone through. Against her usual practice, she was currently smoking inside the car, flicking ash precariously out of the wide-open window which was causing most of it to re-enter the car and she knew she'd be pissed off about that later but right now she just didn't care. Her mind was racing and she knew that once again it would fall on her to keep everything together no matter how she felt. This was bringing back all too many memories from when Janet had been stabbed. That had been stressful enough, but at least they'd managed to get there as soon as they knew and she was in hospital sharpish. With Rachel, they'd had to wait for an excruciating amount of time, not knowing what was happening to her, what she was going through, how she was and then to find her in the state that she'd been in when Gill had walked into that room.. well, it wasn't pleasant. But she couldn't show that, she had to be the strong one, she had the responsibility of calling Rachel's sister, of supporting Janet, of still being DCI to the makeshift team back in her office and it wouldn't let up until she got home and could finally let it all out, whenever that would be. Although it was mostly for the best that she came across to everyone as a hard-faced bitch whose expectations in the world were sky-high, it was times like now that she regretted it. It was now that she wished for someone to be there for her and give her a hug because they'd know how shitty she felt. As she followed the ambulance into the hospital grounds, she headed for the car park, filing away those thoughts as she parked and hurriedly ran towards the A&E doors.

xxx

'Come on, Janet. I'll give you a lift home.' Gill said tiredly, leaning against the wall and wishing she was somewhere with an unlimited supply of wine.

'No! I'm not going anywhere.' Janet shook her head fiercely, her chair as close as it could possibly be to Rachel's bed, her hand covering her best friend's even with all the tubes and wires in the way attempting to prevent it.

'Look, you need sleep. You also need to see your girls, they'll be wondering where the hell you are. You're going to be no good to Rachel if you don't get any sleep, you know that.' she replied softly.

Janet looked up briefly. What Gill said about the girls did touch a nerve slightly and she glanced down at Rachel again, taking note of all the machines and drips that surrounded the bed. As she turned to face Gill again, her eyes were full of determination. 'I can call the girls. I'm not leaving her here alone, Gill. It's not happening.'

'Bloody hell, Janet!' Gill snapped, the stress of today finally taking its toll. 'Sorry,' she continued, her voice softer now. 'I've already told you, Alison is on her way now. She wanted to come earlier but I assured her that we were here and she could come later if she needed to. Some problem with getting a babysitter or something. But anyway, she's on her way, she just text me. She'll be here any minute and Rachel won't be alone, will she?'

Janet contemplated this for a long moment, eyes searching Rachel's face for signs of.. well, anything. She sighed knowing that Rachel wouldn't exactly be jumping about or anything anytime soon.. if ever. A shudder ran through her as she once again blocked that thought and looked up again to Gill. 'Well, we can wait. For Alison. When she comes, I'll leave with you, but I'm literally going home, getting a couple hours kip and then coming straight back here.'

'Fine.' Gill said, not having the energy to even bother trying to dissuade Janet from her plan. After a friendship spanning almost twenty years, Gill was well aware that Janet could be a stubborn mare and when it came to things like this is was best just to let her be.

They waited in silence, the only noise being the machines beeping and making it all the more clear just where they were, and why they were there, and just how high the stakes were. Janet continued to gently stroke Rachel's hand, leaning in close and trying to somehow send her the love and caring that she felt so deeply. As she did so, she remembered what Rachel had said about how awful it had been when Janet was in hospital, how helpless she'd felt and right now, here in this moment, she emphatically empathized. This was torture. Watching someone you felt so intensely for going through this, not knowing whether they would live or die.. well, it was Hell. As the curtain swished back, both her and Gill whipped their heads around, nerves on edge. Alison stared on for a couple of seconds before running to the other side of Rachel's bed and letting out a painful sob. She leaned over to kiss Rachel's forehead and looked up at Janet and Gill.

'I tried to get here earlier,' she started, her voice strangled with emotion, 'but.. I couldn't.. I couldn't get..' she broke up as another sob engulfed her and Gill walked around to place a hand on her shoulder in an attempt to express comfort.

'Of course, Alison. I'm so sorry, I can't begin to imagine how hard this is for you.'

'Who did this to her? Where are they? I want to see them.' Alison said, one hand covering her eyes as she tried to regain some sense of composure.

'He was killed while we were getting your sister out.' Gill replied, her hand still on Alison's shoulder as she delivered the news.

'Fucking bastard. Why? Why her? Why Rachel?' she looked up in anguish, her body trembling at the enormity and seriousness of the situation.

Janet remained seated and couldn't help asking the exact same questions as Alison had just voiced.

xxx

As Janet shut her front door behind her wearily, she risked having a look in a mirror and immediately regretted it. Her hair was sticking up on end, most of it having fell out of the neat bun that had been there just that morning, and her waterproof mascara clearly wasn't that waterproof as mascara was smeared over her face while her eyes were puffy and her skin was blotchy. Lovely. She sighed, wiped the mascara from her cheeks and turned from the mirror, checking her watch as she did so. It was 10.30pm, the girls shouldn't be up but she was in no doubt that they would be anyway, taking advantage of no adults being around to implement rules. As she removed her coat, she fished her mobile out of her bag and once again made sure that it wasn't on silent; she'd made Alison promise to call her straight away if there was any news. Finally she trudged into the living room to face the girls. They both looked up, apparently in the midst of yet another argument, both probably preparing to tell tales to their mother but once they saw her, both faces puckered in concern.

'Mum?' Elise said, clearly worried as she gestured to the empty seat next to her and watched as her mother automatically sat down. 'Is- is everything okay?'

'Yes, love.' Janet said, staring ahead and only now starting to feel the tiredness sink in. 'Well.. no. Not really.' Tears started brimming again causing Janet to take in a long, shaky breath as she looked at the girls. 'It's Rachel. Something happened at work and now she's in hospital. She's very poorly.'

'Oh my God.' Elise said, eyes wide, turning her head as she heard Taisie getting upset. 'Tais, go and make Mum a cup of tea, yeah?' She watched her younger sister leave the room and turned back to her mother. 'What happened?'

'It doesn't matter. All that matters is that she isn't doing very well. I'm sorry I couldn't come back before but I had to stay with Rachel.'

'It's fine, Mum. Honest, I cooked us some pasta and Taisie did the dishes. We were fine.' Elise replied reassuringly, causing Janet's tears to finally spill over as she looked at her eldest daughter and was shocked once again to see just how mature and kind she was.

'Thank you, love.' Taisie came in with a cup of tea and rosy cheeks that showed just how emotional she was feeling. 'And thank you, sweetheart. You've both been brilliant tonight.'

'Is she going to be okay?' Taisie asked, a slight tremble in her voice.

'I don't know, love. I really don't know. But Rachel is made of strong stuff, you know that, she'll come back fighting, she always does.' Janet stared into her tea as she said these words, knowing that if she looked up she would lose it again and it wasn't fair on her daughters to see that.

'Is she all by herself?' Taisie asked, her eyebrows furrowed and, in spite of herself, Janet smiled. Elise was always the practical one, whereas Taisie was the more sensitive out of them. They both melted her heart and she was suddenly so grateful that they'd both stayed up, she needed them.

'No, sweetheart. Her sister came up and is going to stay with her for a while now. You met her once, remember? When we went to the pub for Rachel's birthday meal?' she watched as Taisie nodded slowly, obviously feeling slightly comforted by the fact that Rachel had her sister with her. 'I'm going back up to the hospital when I've had a sleep and I'm going to be spending a lot of time up there over the next few days so you've got two options. I can either call Gran and ask her to come and stay or you can call your Dad and ask him to stay here. You can tell him what's happened and explain that I won't be here except to sleep because we all know he doesn't exactly want to be around me right now.' Uh oh, she shouldn't have said that last bit. She was always so careful about not mentioning anything to do with Ade in front of the girls but she was so worn out that her alertness had apparently taken a hike.

Taisie and Elise looked at each other, both seeming to weigh up the options. Without a word spoken between them they seemed to have an entire conversation before Elise looked at her mother. 'Can you call Gran? We haven't seen her in ages and she cooks better than Dad.'

Janet smiled briefly and looked at Taisie who nodded in agreement. 'Okay. I'll call her in the morning. Listen, I might not be here when you wake up because Alison has to get back to her daughter at some point and I don't want Rachel to be left on her own so will you please be good in the morning and get yourselves off to school? You can text Dad if you want a lift, but not now, it's late. And I'll set your breakfast out before I go anywhere.'

'Mum, don't worry. We'll be fine, won't we Tais?' Elise said soothingly, and Janet marveled at how her girls seemed to forget all their differences and come together when there was an emergency. They were so good. Taisie nodded again and Janet noticed that she was falling asleep.

'Thank you, both of you, really. You're such good girls and I'm so proud of you. Come on, lets get to bed, it's been a busy, long old day.' she stood up, shepherded the girls upstairs and sat with them for a few minutes each before heading to her own bed.

As she tiredly got changed, Janet felt her mind wandering and soon enough she was preoccupied with thoughts of how Rachel was doing. Climbing into bed and turning the bedside lamp off, she settled down and pulled the duvet in tighter. She stared into the darkness trying to think of nothing in particular, trying to get the image of Rachel - Rachel laid in a hospital bed, hooked up to monitors and drips and whatever else, unconscious - out of her mind. Finally, sleep took her and she dreamt of knives, guns, blood and death.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Janet bolted up in bed breathing heavily, eyes immediately wide and filled with alarm. She looked into the darkness that surrounded her and it was only then that she realized that it had only been a dream. Just a complete mindfuck of a dream. She'd always thought that the dreams of Geoff would be the worst nightmares she could have.. until tonight. Tonight she'd dreamt of Rachel dying in her arms as a man's cruel laugh echoed through the air. As her eyes grew accustomed to the darkness and she could make out that she was in her bedroom and as she recognized that the empty feeling in her arms signified that she definitely hadn't just witnessed her best friend's murder, she sighed in relief. This relief only last for a matter of seconds though as the realization dawned that even though Rachel wasn't dead.. she was seriously injured in hospital. Death wasn't off the cards yet, and as she processed those thoughts she hurriedly slid out of bed and shoved on the first clothes that she could get her hands on. Grabbing a hair brush and clip, she tip-toed to the bathroom and proceeded to do her hair and brush her teeth, quite possibly setting a record time for getting ready. When all this was complete, Janet headed downstairs and into the kitchen, looking longingly at the kettle before berating herself and deciding to just grab a cup of coffee when she got to the hospital. After preparing some breakfast for the girls and leaving some money out for their lunches, Janet grabbed her coat, bag and car keys and headed out into the dark.

When she reached her car she hastily got in and sped off in the direction of the hospital. The silence was too much, it only made her thoughts seem much louder and insistent than usual and at the moment that wasn't something that she could handle and so she turned on the radio, fiddling with the tuner until it landed on the rather soothing Radio 2. It was only then, landing on the radio station just in time for the news, that she realized what time it was. 4am. She had been so all over the place that she hadn't even connected the fact that it was dark to the subsequent conclusion that it must be early. God, she would be fucking shattered later, she'd only had a couple of hours sleep. Not that it mattered in the grand scheme of things, not any more. She didn't give a shit what time it was, she needed to be with Rachel. That was all there was to it. The one benefit to it being so early was that the roads were completely clear and she was able to get to the hospital in impressive time. Parking in quite possibly her fastest time ever, she flung the door open, ran to the parking meter, waited very impatiently for the machine to splutter to life and hurried back to the car as soon as she got her ticket.

Janet hated hospitals. With a passion. Ever since what had happened with Geoff, just.. well, everything about hospitals made her feel unwell. The smell, the uniforms of the staff, the absolutely diabolical beverages that came out of the hot drinks machine.. it was the last place she would want to be normally. But this wasn't a normal situation and she almost felt a sense of calm as she entered the building as if knowing that Rachel was close by was all she needed. Not having the patience to wait for the lift, she took the stairs instead, going up them two-at-a-time until she came to the level she needed to be on. It wasn't until she greeted the tired looking nurses at the ward reception area and clocked their puzzled looks did she look down and take notice of what she was wearing. The trousers were fine; black, smart looking, what she would wear to work sometimes anyway. The top however was a pajama top that had printed cupcakes and teddy bears on them. Shit. She must have just discarded said pajamas yesterday morning and hadn't even thought about it this morning when she was frantically searching for something to wear. How on earth she had managed to miss her frankly ridiculous clothing attire until now was beyond her, but instead of worrying about it like she would on any other day, she noted it with a sense of detachment, silently cursed and then shrugged and headed into Rachel's room.

She couldn't stop the muffled gasp of horror as she yanked back the curtain and her eyes immediately landed upon Rachel. Janet had spent the car journey on the way to hospital convincing herself that Rachel surely wasn't as bad as she'd been fretting about. She couldn't be. And so to pull back that curtain and see her best friend laid in a hospital bed attached to more monitors and tubes and machines than she could count, seeing Rachel as pale as if she really were dead; it tore at Janet. She stood there for a moment, the sounds of the machines reverberating in her brain, eyes glued to the bed and then jumped as she noticed movement, turning her head swiftly to the source of such movement, relaxing slightly when she saw Alison.

"Sorry Alison. I almost forgot you were going to be here." Janet didn't recognize her own voice, it was shrill and weak, not her usual confident and authoritative tone. It only served to unnerve her further. "Are you okay? Has there been any change?"

Alison looked ten years older than she had a mere 24 hours before. Her hair was straggled and her eyes were puffy, showing just how upset was. "Uh.. no. Um, shit.. sorry. I mean, I'm fine.. and there's been no change." Her voice cracked on that last word, and although she had been completely convinced that she was all cried out, tears once more were threatening to spill over onto her cheeks. She glanced down at her baby sister, a low moan escaping from her lips, before looking back towards Janet, her eyes portraying the desperate agony she felt.

"I'm so sorry, Al. I'm so, so sorry. I wish.. I don't know.. I wish there was something, anything I could do." Janet reached an arm out and wrapped it around the other woman's shoulders, pulling her in tight. "You need to get home, love. You need some sleep and you need to be up for your little one in a couple of hours too."

"How can I leave her, Janet? This is all so.. ugh! It's fucked up. See, it's always been me and Rachel. Even with all the arguments, all the fights.. everything.. it's been us two. Dom was always a live wire, he tried but he never really wanted to belong in our tight unit. After Mum walked out.. it was just us. I don't have anyone to look after Holly today but how am I supposed to walk away from her when she needs me most?" She was sobbing now and turned into Janet, clutching her as though she was a drowning child and the comforting woman was a lifeboat.

"I know, love, I know." Janet tried to soothe, feeling out of her depth for once and feeling her heart constrict painfully. "Listen, go home, get as much sleep as you can and as soon as you drop Holly to school you can come straight back here until you need to go pick her up again. And while you're here today we'll try and get someone to help with Holly, yeah?"

"Thank you," Alison sniffled, cheeks blotchy due to her intense emotion. After another couple of minutes of small talk, Janet watched as Alison left her sister's bedside, staring at the curtain swishing slightly before steeling herself to turn around.

* * *

"Can someone just tell me what's going on?" Janet said, her voice laced with frustration, her hands clenching onto the nurses counter, knuckles turning white with the pressure she was using.

"I understand this must be difficult for you but the doctor will give you more information when he does his checks which will be in a half hour or so." One of the nurses replied, a gentle tone infused but in a way that implied firmness.

Janet, sensing that she was onto a losing battle, cast a long withering look at the nurse and turned on her heel to head back into Rachel. The chair that she had recently vacated was placed just as she had left it, right next to Rachel's bed, on the side that had slightly less tubes on her hand so Janet could hold it while she sat.

"Bloody staff, and you wonder why I hate hospitals?! Aside from the obvious, they're just ridiculously unhelpful." she muttered quietly to her best friend, her voice rising slightly over the beeps and other various noises coming from the machines surrounding them. "You need to get your shit together and get the hell out of this place soon or I promise I'll talk to Gill and get her to put you on disclosures for a year." At first, Janet had sat in silence with Rachel, holding her hand tightly and not saying anything, but after a while the silence was threatening to become her worst enemy, her thoughts becoming more unbearable as the seconds ticked by until she had finally opened her mouth and said something. And now she was just rambling, alternating between hissing well-meaning but equally frightened threats at Rachel about just what she would be subjected to if she didn't hurry up and get better and pleading with her. "Talking of Gill, I reckon she'll pop in before she goes into work. And when you sort yourself out and wake up I'm going to really enjoy telling you just how worried Gill has been about you. I don't know how many times I have to tell you, but she really does like you, you know. You just worry about everything." She leaned in closer, her thumb making circular comforting movements on the back of her hand, as much as the tubes allowed anyway. "Right now, all you have to worry about is getting better, okay? Please. Wasn't it you who told me I needed to relax more often and try and 'chill the fuck out'? You're not exactly helping matters by pulling this one, missus."

Janet lapsed into silence then, her throat hurting from the lump that was lodged there, her head beginning to throb from the overload of rapid thoughts. She braced her chin with her free hand and gazed at the almost unrecognisable younger woman. It felt like an age that she was sat there for but, when she looked at her watch, it was only 4.45am. She idly wondered why on earth a doctor would be doing checks at such early hours of the morning and tried to remember if it had been the same when she was in hospital, before giving up and merely assuming that things worked differently in Intensive Care Units.

So, Alison probably wouldn't be back until 9.30ish and Gill- if she stopped in on her way to work- wouldn't be here until 8ish perhaps, which just left Janet. Not that she minded of course, this was the only place she would willingly be at the moment, but sitting here, looking at Rachel, made her feel so fucking helpless. The tubes protuding from Rachel's mouth, nose, hands, the needles, the beeping machines that seemed to be noisier than any sound she could make, all of it. And in the midst of it was Rachel. So pale, so lifeless, so.. small. And that's what hurt Janet more than anything, the fact that she couldn't just reach over and shake Rachel until she opened her eyes and admitted that she was just kidding. She couldn't help, all she could do was sit there and hold her hand, try and let her know somehow that she _wasn't_ alone, that she _was_ loved.

The tears rolled down Janet's cheeks once more as her eyes wandered over the frail looking being in the hospital bed. "Now, listen you. If you wake up now, I'll go and buy us a bar full of wine and I'll let you call Gill up at midnight and sing 'I am 16 going on 17'. Come on, you know I'd never agree to that if I wasn't desperate! And.. and.. okay.. er- yes! I've got it! Okay, if you wake up riiiiiiiight now.. I'll snog Kevin. I _know_ you would piss yourself if you saw that, so bloody wake up!" She gripped Rachel's hand tighter, swatting the tears away roughly with her other hand. "Rach! Please! We're supposed to be Batman and Robin, it'd be a pretty shit duo if one of them buggered off, wouldn't it? Please, love. Elise and Taisie are so upset, they're scared that you won't get better. Don't worry, I told them that you are strong, that you'll do this. So don't prove me wrong, okay? Don't do this. Don't leave me." her voice was shaking with emotion as she sat there, eyes begging, tears falling rapidly, and that's how she stayed for a long while until the curtain swished behind her and she turned around quickly.

"Doctor! Thank God! What's going on? She's getting better, isn't she?" Janet stood up quickly, too quickly as she stumbled briefly before regaining her footing and looking at the doctor imploringly.

"Hello. Please forgive me, I don't have your details on this clipboard. What relation are you to Miss Bailey?"

"Er- I'm not. Related, I mean. We work together. In MIT. I came in the ambulance with her. Yesterday? Must have been.. well, I don't know. I lost track of the time. Late afternoon? Early evening?" Janet knew she was babbling unnecessarily but she couldn't seem to stop. It was only when she noticed that the doctor seemed to be wanting to talk that she clamped her lips together and waited.

"Right." The doctor said, clearly unimpressed. "Well, we only give information to relatives, I'm afraid." He took a step around Janet as if to make clear the conversation was over.

Janet looked baffled for a moment before whirling around and catching the doctor's attention once more. "No, sorry. That won't work with me. Rachel doesn't have a lot of family. Her sister is the only one who will visit, and that will be sporadically as she has a young child to look after. I'll be practically living here and I can assure you that Rachel and I are very close, so I expect to be told exactly what is going on. Now." Her nostrils flared as she spat out the last word, her nerves standing on edge as it is without having some jumped-up twat who didn't even _know_ Rachel talking down to her as if she shouldn't even be here. She stared down the doctor who seemed to look rather affronted and waited quite impatiently, her gaze not flickering for a second.

"Er- well, I'm not sure Miss.."

"Janet. Janet Scott. I'm a DS at Manchester Metropolitan Police. My superior should be coming along shortly and she is a DCI." Janet felt a bit.. _icky_ trying to press people by using her job title. And especially Gill's. But she didn't care enough to regret it. This was Rachel and she would do whatever the hell she damned well needed to, to be told what the fuck was going on. "I expect to be told this information, sir, and I do realize that you have certain protocol to maintain, however, Rachel doesn't have much family and so I think it is more than acceptable that I be told her current condition. So, shall we start again? Oh, and I didn't catch your name just now, so we'll start from the beginning." Her smile was forced as she reached a hand out to the doctor. "Hello, I'm Janet Scott. What is happening with Rachel?"

The doctor cleared his throat, aware that there was no way on Earth that he would win this argument and actually understanding Janet's point. There were circumstances where other people were told, and this would be one of them. He reciprocated the hand gesture and they shook formally. "I'm Doctor Jonson. It's a pleasure to meet you." The sarcasm wasn't lost on either of them. "Okay, so what's happening is.."

* * *

Gill briskly walked through the hospital, turning right onto the ICU ward and pressing the entry buzzer, restlessly tapping her foot as she waited for a nurse to allow her through. Upon hearing a slight click, indicating that the door was unlocked, she swept through, not making eye contact with the staff as she flashed her badge at them before striding into the area where Rachel was. She'd had a shocking night which had included a _lot_ of alcohol, _very_ little sleep and an insane amount of worrying and all she wanted to do was see Rachel for herself and check that she was okay, well.. as okay as she could be. She wasn't in the least bit surprised to see Janet there, hunched over Rachel as if she were a guard, turning as she heard Gill enter.

"Alright, kid?" Gill said softly, noticing the haggard expression that Janet's face wore. It wouldn't shock Gill in the slightest if Janet had been here for hours already, she knew how much time Rachel had spent by Janet's side when it had been her in hospital. They really were close. "Any news?"

Janet stood up and approached Gill, her eyes almost buried in the black bags that lay heavily beneath them. "Er- the doctor came. Doctor Jonson. Complete bastard. Anyway.. um.." Janet took a deep breath, mentally willing herself not to cry, wondering how many tears one person could have before they literally had no more to weep. "We still don't know. He said that the first 48 hours are crucial. Obviously you know she's in a medically induced coma, something about giving her body the best chance to recover after the initial injury and the subsequent blood transfusion.. I don't know. And um.. well.. he said that she still might.." she couldn't finish the sentence and felt the now familiar ache in her throat as she pleadingly looked at her boss, begging her to know the implications and not need Janet to spell them out. She saw Gill nod almost imperceptibly and took another steadying breath. "They're doing regular EEG's on her and all these other machines.. I don't know what they're all for. He told me but.. I just.. I can't take it in." Her head bowed involuntarily as the meaning of her words hit her once more. Seriously, how could Rachel.. _Rachel _for fucks sake.. not live? How would the world still continue and people still carry on with their lives if Rachel wasn't around? It might have sounded melodramatic but frankly, Janet didn't care. This was too much. And although she was more than well-equipped to deal with this sort of thing as part of her job, in her private life she knew with absolute certainty that she was not strong enough to cope with this. She felt Gill's hand on her arm and raised her head again. "This is wrong, Gill. Rachel is one of the good guys. She works to try and _protect_ people, to preserve _justice_ and yet she's the one who ends up being someone who could die at the hands of one of these fucking.. _fucking_.. arseholes. How many people do we see? How many murderers, rapists, paedophiles, abusers do we see every fucking day? Why couldn't one of those bastards be the one laid in this bed? It's so wrong. So wrong."

Gill guided Janet back to her seat, her mind reeling as she tried to take in this barrage of information. Rachel could still die. And even if she got through the next hours, Gill was aware that it still wasn't clear cut. It would be a few days until they were told with absolute certainty that Rachel was going to live. And she found herself completely agreeing with Janet. Why was it one of her officers who were here? Why couldn't it be some of the everyday scum that they worked with? Where was the justice that she and her team fought for every day in this situation? She kept her hand lightly on Janet's arm as she stared at Rachel. _Fuck_. How many times had she called Rachel into her office and given her a bollocking? How many times had she wanted to throttle the kid? And now here she was, on the brink of death, looking like a shadow of her usual self, and all Gill wanted was to walk into work and see Rachel there, she wanted to open the fridge and see all of Rachel's out of date food there, she wanted to be able to roll her eyes at one of Rachel's antics. Yep, Janet was certainly right. This was wrong. "I know, kiddo. It.. it's not fair. In the slightest. But we need to be strong, you hear me? Rachel needs us to be strong. You know what they say, she can still hear us and all that? So we can't let her down now, we need to provide the strength she needs to pull through this." Her eyes flickered back over Rachel and her forehead involuntarily furrowed in pain. But she knew that she was to be the consistently strong one that everyone took lead from and so she worked at smoothing her face out and providing a look of determination instead.

"I know," Janet started, voice quivering, "it's just hard. I thought you were all bullshitting when you went on about how you felt when I was the one in here, but seriously.. I was mistaken. This is.." she scrabbled for the words, "it's _horrific_."

"It sure is, but all we can do is be here for each other and for Rachel. Where is Alison?" Gill asked as she pulled the other chair from against the wall and placed it on the opposite side of Janet on the other side of the hospital bed.

"She went home to get some sleep before she had to be up for her little 'un. What time is it?" Janet yawned, feeling much older than her years.

"It's 7am. Is she coming back after she's done the school run?"

"Yep. I said that I'll try and sort something out for Holly- that's her daughter's name. I think I'm going to call Mum because she's having the girls for me at the moment and I'll ask her if she would mind having Holly too. Oh shit," Janet said, her head jerking up, "I forgot to call Mum to ask her if she could even have the girls. Ugh. Oh well, she will have only just got up anyway, I'll call her in a bit. But yeah, hopefully she won't mind having Holly too, especially if Alison travels to and from my house to here so that Holly gets to see her." There was a small silence as both women looked at Rachel. "Wait.. 7am? Why are you here so early?"

"I wanted to spend some proper time with her instead of just dashing in for ten minutes before I go into work. Trust me, I would love to just take the day off and stay here. The only reason I'm going in is because I want to give that young, _stupid_ PC who was doing door-to-door with Rachel a piece of my fucking mind. Besides that I want to update the team on what's going on. I spoke to Kevin when I got home last night to let him know what had happened and then he decided to call everyone else and they all decided to call me. Apparently no one gives a shit about the noro-virus, they're all coming in today 'with or without my permission'. And I think they'll all be popping up today and tomorrow. They're really worried, of course." Gill rubbed her temples, she was getting a headache already. This didn't bode well for the rest of the day. She hadn't gotten to sleep until 3am this morning and had set the alarm for 6am so she could have a proper visit with Rachel before heading into work. And she was well aware that no matter what time she finished tonight she would be stopping by here to spend at least an hour at the end of her day. Their team really was a little family and when one of them was in trouble the others quickly and determinedly came to their aid. She was proud of her little team, at how much they did look out for each other and not just because they were professionally obliged to.

"I told her that you'd be coming by before you went to work," Janet gave a small, weak smile and jerked her head towards Rachel. "I've been talking to her about absolute bollocks, just because I can't stand the silence. Well, those fucking beepy machines aren't silent but you know what I mean. It was driving me crazy."

"No, that's good, kid. We need to be talking to her. If she can hear us I'm pretty sure she would be going crazy herself if all she could hear was those bloody monitors. Knowing Rachel, as soon as she wakes up she'll probably smash the shit out of them." Gill joked gently and because it did remind them of Rachel, of how impulsive and irritable she could get, and because she probably _would_ smash them up if she had the choice, both women smiled again.

They lapsed into silence then, each woman holding Rachel's hands, both trying to furiously banish the worst case scenarios that were doing cartwheels around their minds. One question seemed the hardest to dispell;

Rachel can't die. _Can _she?

* * *

**Big thanks to anyone who read this.. I'm not overly happy with it, it feels a bit.. clumsy and clunky at times, but I had a bit of a writers block and thought the only way to get through it was to just write it down and get it out there lol, so I'm really sorry if people didn't enjoy this as much as previous chapters. Thanks again for reading xx**


	6. Chapter 6

**As ever, thank you very much for the responses to this story. It's really meant a lot and I'm glad that people seem to enjoy it. I hope you enjoy this chapter too :) xx**

* * *

Chapter 6:

Gill slammed her car door shut behind her, striding across the car park and pushing through the double doors. Once inside, she gave a brisk courteous nod to the three men in uniform- not awaiting their response- and roughly punched the code into the security system that allowed her upstairs. Up the stairs she headed, a scowl on her face, giving ample warning to any officer who walked past her to basically leave her the fuck alone, and turned left into the ladies toilets. Standing in front of the mirror, she took a long, hard look at herself in the mirror. Shit, she looked rough. Not as bad as Janet had at the hospital, and nowhere near as bad as poor Rachel, but definitely rough. Not her usual business-like woman-who-has-got-her-shit-together look, instead she looked as if she hadn't slept for a week. How on Earth she was going to get through the day and be the woman she knew she needed to be, the woman everyone expected her to be, was beyond her. She'd had a few moments like this in her career. Something would come along and whoosh.. she'd be knocked off her feet. And, you know, that happens, that's fine. Part of the job, blah blah blah. But when you have built yourself up as a bitch who can't be messed with, a strong, determined woman who is so hard-faced she can get through the toughest of things, a woman so cold and detached that surely she is void of any emotion, and when the people you work with come to expect that of you, maybe even come to _depend_ on you for that very trait, you're basically up shit creek without a paddle when something like this does happen. Because, when something like this happens and you've constructed yourself in the way Gill had, you're basically left alone to deal with it. And that's fucking hard. She sighed. Turning on the tap she let it run for a few moments, sticking her fingers under to make sure it was really cold before splashing it on her face. It certainly made her gasp and revived her slightly and, after she'd patted her face dry, she used her fingers to try and sort her hair out. She'd spent the morning so far raking it away from her face so many times that by now it was just sticking up in a manner that didn't befit a Detective Chief Inspector. Pulling some lipstick out of her bag, she reapplied a coat and took another proper look at herself in the mirror. Fuck it, it would have to do.

When the alarm had sounded this morning, Gill had decided to call in sick. She could count on one hand the amount of times that she had phoned into work sick since she had been with Syndicate 9, so she didn't feel all that bad if she decided to do it today. She could say she had the noro-virus and no-one would bat an eyelid, what with half of her team being off with the same thing. As she laid in bed contemplating this, she planned how she would spend her day. She'd spend some quality time with Sammy definitely, and Orla now that she was evidently becoming an increasingly serious part of her son's life, she would remind him just how much she loved him, she would apologize for all the times that he thought she cared more about work than she did him. And then she would visit Rachel. Spend a few hours there. And then she would come home and sleep. Turn her phone off and just sleep. Block everything out so she didn't have to face the world. It sounded heavenly. And then reality set in. Stupid bloody reality. Thanks to Kevin, the whole team now knew about Rachel and they were all coming in to work. She knew that the team would be highly-strung, nerves would be on end and anxiety would be strife. She couldn't just leave them to deal with that, she knew that they would need her and, for once, she deeply resented that. Always being the strong one was bound to wear after a while, and today was one of those extremely rare days in which she wished for those years past when she was merely a DC and she wasn't really that important. When shit went wrong then, no one looked to her to pick up the pieces. How times change. She tried to take leave of her sense of responsibility, she slid further down into her bed, but it didn't work. And now here she was, in the ladies toilet, trying to mentally prepare herself to face her team, to get them through the day. Who was going to get her through the day? She shook her head to dispel her thoughts and took a deep breath. "Go get 'em, kid." she muttered to herself, striding out of the room and heading towards her office.

* * *

"Ma'am!" Lee said as he saw Gill enter the office. Pete, Mitch and Kevin all whirled around to face their boss, each of their faces wearing a concerned expression. "Is there any news about Rachel?"

Gill stopped, leaning against Janet's desk as she surveyed her team. "Not really," she shook her head. "It's still critical, all we can do is wait." They all looked downcast and she wished she could say something nice, something comforting, but she just couldn't bring herself to. Instead she turned to practicalities. "Are you sure you are all well enough to come in? I will be less than impressed if I get this fucking bug thing you all had." Her steely gaze moved over all of them and they each shifted uncomfortably.

"Yes, ma'am." Pete nodded earnestly.

"I feel fine, honest." Lee verified.

"Just a 24-hour thing, boss." Mitch said quietly, sneaking a look at Pete and raising his eyebrows. Gill clearly wasn't going to go easy on them. Then again, when did she ever?

"Fine." Gill replied briskly. "I'm going to need one of you to get that name of the PC who was doing door-to-door with Rachel yesterday. The rest of you.. I don't know.. keep yourselves busy. Oh, and Kevin? Put on the kettle." She swept into her office then, sitting down heavily and turning on her computer. She knew what the boys would be saying now. 'Oh, how heartless can she be?!' or 'Clearly she doesn't give a fuck.' or maybe 'Christ, she looks rough.'. And that was fine. She was their DCI, there had to be some distance between them, some sense of boundaries. Her phone rang and she sighed heavily before picking up the handset.

"DCI Gill Murray."

"Hiya Slap." her close friend, Julie, replied.

"Oh.. hello, cock. You alright?"

"You usually put much more effort into your insults.. so obviously _you're_ not okay. I heard about Rachel, I'm sorry cock. What's the news?"

"Ugh. I'm not sure. We still don't know if she's going to make it. It's all touch-and-go, as they say." Gill said tiredly, her headache still throbbing steadily. A quiet knock on her door caused her to look up and she signaled for Kevin- who'd been looking through the blinds as he awaited a response- to enter. After leaving a strong cup of tea on his boss' desk he sought his leave and closed the door silently behind him. "They're keeping an eye on her, all they can do really."

"Shit. That's awful, Gill. She seemed like a nice lass whenever I saw her. Especially when I knew her with all that Savage stuff. Is there anything I can do?"

"Nope. Nothing any of us can do. Thanks though."

"This has hit you hard, hasn't it? I can hear it in your voice. Why didn't you call me?" Julie pressed, her vibrant heels tapping against the floor of her office.

"There's nothing to say. This happens all the time, all over the country. I'm a DCI and one of my officers is fighting for their life. Not exactly a newsflash is it?"

"You can fool everyone else with that dismissive answer, Murray, but that bullshit doesn't wash with me." She could hear Gill about to reject her comments so hurried on with the conversation. "Anyway, anything juicy in the office to sink your teeth into?"

"Not as yet, no. I'm calling that PC who was with Rachel yesterday into my office when I find out her name for a chat. I think I'm supposed to be doing supervision later but I might postpone it. Same ol' shit." Gill's voice sounded lifeless even to her own ears but she didn't really care. "Oh, I've gotta go, Slap. Just got an email through that I need to answer. I'll speak to you soon." Without waiting for a reply, Gill hung up the phone and logged into her computer before taking a swig of her coffee and scrambling through her bag for a couple of painkillers. Any excuse to get Julie off of her back would have done well today. She knew if she kept talking to someone who knew her so well, she would lose her composure and that wasn't what she, her team, Rachel or anyone else needed today.

* * *

Janet walked out of the ward and through the maze of corridors until she was outside. Sitting down on a wall she got her mobile out and started dialing She'd waited until Alison had gotten back to the hospital before she would leave Rachel and now she needed to call her Mum.

"Hiya Mum, it's Janet. How are ya?" Janet said, trying to force joviality into her voice.

"Oh, alright love? I'm okay, thanks. How are you?"

"Not bad thanks. Look, I was wondering if you could do me a huge favour?"

"What is it?"

"Okay.. I need you to look after the girls for a few days at my house if that's okay? Something's happened and I can't be at home." Janet replied, feeling cheeky for asking but knowing that she had very few options.

"Oh dear, Janet. Are you okay? What's happened now? Are you hurt?"

"No, no. Of course not, Mum. It's not me." she took a deep breath, "It's Rachel. She's.. been stabbed. I'm staying at the hospital with her until we know that she's stable. I don't have anyone to look after the girls and they asked for you."

"Oh my goodness, is Rachel okay?"

"No, Mum. She's not. She's been _stabbed_." Janet realized that she was getting snappy and that her mother didn't deserve that so she mentally scolded herself before continuing. "We won't know if she's going to be okay for a couple of days. That's why I need someone to watch over the kids" she added in a softer voice.

"Well, of course I'll come to look after the girls! Of course I will!" Her mother said, almost indignant at the fact her daughter would even think she might say no.

Janet felt a surge of relief which was immediately dampened as she remembered what else it was that she needed to ask.

* * *

Janet pulled back the curtain and walked into the room, pulling it closed behind her. She turned to Alison who was looking at her hopefully, as hopefully as any person could while they also looked as if they were drowning in a sea of pain. "I spoke to Mum. She'll have Holly for the next few days. That's one thing sorted, hey?" her voice was strained, lifeless as her eyes drifted back over to Rachel. She looked exactly the same as she had when Janet had gone to make the call, but how Janet had wished for a change, anything, a slight colour to her cheeks perhaps or a tiny movement to signify that she was getting stronger, getting better. But no, there was nothing. She was jolted out of her complex mess of thoughts by Alison.

"Thanks, Janet. Honest, thanks so much. This makes things a bit easier." Alison glanced to her baby sister again and it took a while to clear the lump in her throat enough to finish talking. "Maybe we should do shifts here? You're going to need to sleep and Holly will still need me, need to see me. We should take in turns so that... Rachel.. isn't left on her own." She turned back to her sister then, holding her hand once more and using her free hand to navigate around the tubes enough to brush Rachel's hair back.

"Yeah.." Janet said, not really taking in the information. She sat down in the chair that she had discarded a short while before and sat in silence. It was difficult for her because although she found more comfort when she spoke to Rachel, she wasn't related, it wasn't her choice and she wasn't sure if Alison _needed_ the silence to be able to cope or process everything or some other reason. And so she stayed quiet, head turned slightly to watch the display screen one of the beeping monitors, the steady pattern providing her with a small sense of calm.

* * *

Although Gill was waiting for the door to knock, when it did it still caused her to jump slightly. Her nerves were frazzled by now and it was clear to everyone who crossed her that she was most definitely on the warpath. And, unfortunately for PC Holly Roberts, she was to be the next victim.

"Enter." Gill's voice resonated through her office door as she straightened herself in her chair and watched the door. It had been a shitter of a day so far, not that she had expected anything else. Talking to an officer from a different team that had put one of her own team in such critical danger was frowned upon, she knew this. But today she didn't care. It was as if something had snapped and DCI Murray didn't give one shit about the rule book for once. She'd had enough of seeing her officers beaten up, strangled, shot, stabbed, barely alive, dead at the hands of other incompetent staff and scum of the streets. Over the years there had been many and each time she had done her best to be professional, dust herself off and carry on. Every single time. When Janet had been stabbed.. oh, she'd very nearly flipped then. It was only because Geoff was arrested so quickly afterwards and she'd had a chance to interrogate the shit out of him and because Janet had come out of critical condition so quickly that had prevented that. And now this. Her team _again_. Rachel this time. And Christ, Gill wasn't stupid. She knew that Rachel looked at her as some sort of mother figure. Always wanting approval, always trying to prove herself, always asking her advice. That was probably why Gill came down so hard on her, because she _knew_ the potential Rachel could reach, she could _see_ it, and she knew that her young DC just needed nudges in the right direction. So.. no, Gill care if wanting to question the stupid little PC that had accompanied Rachel on door-to-door yesterday was frowned upon. Mitch had poked his head around the door and given her the PC's name and the number of her supervisor and so Gill had called. There had been resistance sure, but Gill hadn't gotten this far up the chain by being a pushover. She knew she had to do this. And now here this PC was. She kept her expression guarded as she watched the door open.

Holly walked in to the office, closing the door meekly behind her before standing there hesitantly, not quite sure what to do.

"Don't just stand there. Sit down." Gill gestured, her tone leaving no room for negotiation. Holly did as she was told, sinking into the chair and keeping her head bowed, eyes fixed on her black trousers. "Well?" Gill prompted. "Don't you have anything to say?"

Holly kept her head down, already feeling tears starting to come to the surface and having an inkling that it would probably make DCI Murray even more unfriendly. "I'm sorry." she murmured, scrutinizing her hands which were feeling rather sweaty.

"You're _sorry_?" Gill asked, her voice tinged with disbelief. She picked up a piece of paper that was in front of her. "Look here miss, before we get to the bit that I am _really_ looking forward to, I want to know something. I read your statement this morning, just before you came in infact, and I want to know.. is this the truth?"

"Yes." Holly answered immediately, feeling hurt that such a senior officer would imply that she lied. "Why would I make it up?"

"Oh, no PC Roberts, I wasn't insinuating anything, I just wanted to make sure. It just seems to me that you are thick as shit. Just by reading this statement I can tell that you don't have what's needed to become a competent police officer. Where is your common sense? Where is your professionalism? I just assumed that maybe it wasn't as bad as how it came across on paper, clearly I was wrong." She placed the statement back down on the table, pushing it away from herself as if to prove just how disgusted she was by it.

Holly squirmed in her seat, unable to stop her tears. She'd only became an officer because she was bored, because it sounded exciting and when she told people what job she had they looked at her with respect. "I said I'm sorry." she said quietly though her voice seemed to ring out, the tense silence in the office causing even the slightest sound to magnify.

"Oh, that's right," Gill started, throwing a dirty look to Kevin who was loitering outside of her office and trying to look through the window. She waited until he had skulked off before she continued. "You're _sorry_. Well that's okay then! That's _brilliant_! We can all get on with our day now because lo and behold, you've said sorry. Except.. we can't, can we? Rachel can't. She's laid in a hospital bed. We don't even know if she is going to live, for fuck sake! And whose fault is that? Hmmm?"

Holly sniffled as she listened. She hadn't been able to sleep all night as the days events had replayed in her mind. She looked up at Gill and was almost shocked to see just how cold the woman's eyes were. "I.. I don't know what else to say."

"It was twenty minutes before you twigged that something was wrong. Twenty minutes of you standing outside probably moaning about it taking so long while one of _my_ team was in there by herself, being scared senseless. And you wonder why I'm so angry?!" Gill paused, taking a deep breath as she forced herself to calm down a little bit. Yes the girl deserved to know just what she had done, but Gill didn't want anything to come back on her for this. "You see my team out there?" She waited for Holly to nod. "They're not supposed to be here today. Well.. apart from Kevin, who, truth be told.. ugh, that doesn't matter. The rest of them are only here because of Rachel. Because they are so worried and messed up over this that they are determined to come in and do whatever they can to help. I had to come in this morning and tell them that Rachel may die. That she is hooked up to more machines than I could count on one hand, that she is fighting but that she may lose that battle at any time. They're going to have to go to her bedside and say good-bye because there is every chance that they won't see her ever again. My DS is such close friends with Rachel that she won't leave the hospital. So, I'm sorry if this seems a bit over dramatic but I can assure you, it is only because of my professionalism that I haven't done anything more than just.. _talk_ to you." She continued looking at the young girl in front of her and sighed. This PC really wasn't right for the job. She had no common sense, she had no ambition, no idea of how a team works. But Gill could see how bad the girl felt and realized that she didn't need to be made to feel worse by Gill. She stayed silent waiting for a response, taking a sip of her near-cold coffee and allowing her eyes to wander around her office.

"I'm _sorry_. Please, I really am." Holly replied, her face a blotchy red due to all the emotion. "I haven't slept. And I told my Dad about what happened and I've decided to hand in my notice. This isn't the right job for me, I can't _do_ this job. I don't even really _want_ to do it. I really am sorry." she finished, tears still running as she looked at DCI Murray and pleaded to be forgiven.

* * *

Janet watched as the nurse did another round of the ward, glaring as she approached Rachel though she knew even as she was doing it that it was ridiculous, that the nurse was only doing her job and trying to help but it didn't help Janet feel any less protective. The nurse straightened up, eyed the monitors and wrote some notes on a clipboard and shot Janet a reassuring smile as she left. Janet sat back down next to Rachel and took her hand. "Just me and you again, kid." she murmured quietly. Alison had left a couple of hours ago and would be back after Holly had gone to bed to do the night shift. Janet preferred it this way, she could talk to Rachel and not worry about what anyone else thought, or if anyone else needed comforting. "Godzilla just called, apparently Kevin and Mitch are coming up in a bit to see you. She told me she's coming up to so she can keep Kevin under control: he's eaten all the biscuits from your drawer again so.. you know.. if you want to wake up and give him shit.. you're more than welcome. He's bouncing off the walls because of all the sugar apparently, we need you to sort him out!" she paused, giving Rachel's fingers a small squeeze. "You're scaring us, Rachel. You're scaring _me._ I know it's going to be really hard for you to keep fighting and getting better, but you _have_ to, okay? I spoke to the girls briefly on their lunch break and they're really worried about you. Alison's a complete state. You can fix this, love. You can. So please.. _please_.. don't give up. I won't let you. You are too important to so many people and I know you never feel that way. You try and act the toughie, pretend that you don't care what people think of you and I know that it's just a mask. You never feel quite good enough but it's not _true_, Rach! What can I say to get you better, hmm? There has to be something. I need you, kid. We all need you. Please." She fell silent then, feeling her throat constrict as the situation she was in once again hit her. This wasn't fair. It wasn't fucking fair.

She studied Rachel's face, looking at the snowy white skin that contrasted sharply with her chocolate brown hair. She looked at the purple skin that lay beneath her eyes, the same purple as her eyelids. She noticed the lips, pale, pale pink, looking dry and chapped. Janet sat back and leaned over to the table where the jug of water stood. After pouring a small amount in a plastic cup, she dipped two fingers in and dabbed some water over her dried lips. As she did so, she looked up, the sight before causing her to freeze and stare in shock;

Rachel's eyes flickered open for the briefest moment before closing again.


	7. Chapter 7

**It's been quite a while since I have updated but I decided to try and get back in to it, I'm not sure I've succeeded so I hope it's enjoyable. Thanks for everyone's kind reactions to this story (and for Aftermath, too, which I'll be working on next), it means a lot. Take care everyone :) xx**

* * *

Chapter 7

Janet felt as if the whole world had come to a standstill as she continued staring at Rachel's eyes. She opened her mouth but no words came as her heart pounded frantically and her fingers - now hovering above Rachel's lips - began to shake. For a long moment, she wondered if she'd just imagined it, as if her mind wanted this so much that it was just making her hallucinate in an attempt to appease her but Janet dismissed this thought with irritation. Rachel had only opened her eyes for the briefest of seconds and was now looking exactly as she had less than a minute ago but, for Janet, this past minute had been one of the happiest moments of her life. Suddenly her brain resumed communication with the rest of her body and she quickly brushed her fingertips along Rachel's mouth before jerking away and yanking the curtain back.

"Nurse?" she shouted, not paying any attention to another patient's visitor who was looking at her with apparent indignation. "Nurse!" She watched as one of the nurses came hurtling down the path not able to wipe the smile off of her face as the nurse looked at her with confusion.

"What's wrong?" the nurse asked, pushing past Janet to enter the room fully and immediately going over to the collection of monitors, checking each of them thoroughly.

"It's.. it's Rachel!" Janet grinned, looking younger than she had in days. "She.. I swear, she opened her eyes! She's coming back to us!"

The nurse approached the bed, leaning forward to peer at Rachel. "Rachel? Rachel, can you hear me? Can you open your eyes for me again, sweetheart?" There was no response and the nurse glanced up at Janet with a look of discomfort. "I realize that this must seem like Rachel is finally making progress, but I do need to warn you that this isn't always the case. Sometimes, people in comas can display small signs of improvement but soon enough lapse back into their original state. I-"

"No!" Janet said fiercely, her blue eyes flashing as she stood tall. "I _saw _it, I'm not making it up! She's getting better. She opened her eyes for God's sake!" The nurse looked as if she were about to interrupt which caused Janet's anger to spike further. "Listen, you can be as pessimistic as you fucking want, I _know_ what I saw. If she's opened her eyes once, she can do it again! She _will_ do it again!"

"Janet, I'm not disputing what you saw. I'm just saying-"

"Well, don't. I don't want to hear it. Look at her monitors again. Isn't there.. isn't there _any_ change?" Janet's anger suddenly gave way to desperation. She'd so wanted to believe that this was the turning point, that Rachel would wake up at any time now and get better. Wasn't that how it went on TV shows and films? This wasn't _fair_.

"I'm afraid not, love. Look, I need to update the doctor and he might want to come down and have a look himself and if he does, you can talk to him then, okay?" The nurse walked over to Janet and placed a hand on her shoulder before exiting the room and once again leaving Janet alone with her thoughts.

Janet sat back down on the chair and scooted closer to the bed, clasping Rachel's hand in her own once again. "_I _saw it," she whispered, giving her hand a squeeze as she got herself comfortable. "Fuck the lot of them, I know it means that you're fighting this. You did _so_ good, kid, I know this is really hard but you need to keep fighting okay? You're not going to let them all think that I'm going mad are you? Well.. you probably would, you cheeky cow, but you can do that as much as you want when you're better so just.. come _on_. Prove them wrong, I know how much of a rebel you are, I know that you'll want to show these bastards just how much of a fighter you are." Janet reached a hand up, slithering through the tubes so she could brush Rachel's hair back. "I'm still counting on you to wake up by the time Kevin gets here so you can give him shit for eating all your biscuits. They were those right posh ones if I remember correctly, the ones we were going to scoff when Kevin was _out_ of the office so.. he needs a good slap. And Alison is going to be so excited when I tell her what you did so you really have to get a move on and wake up properly, okay?" she stared intently at Rachel's eyes as she spoke, silently willing her to open them once more, wondering if she could hear her at all. "I spoke to Mum earlier, she's going to stay with the girls while you're in here. She's worried about you, too. And, oh God, people have started sending cards. You're not going to believe it when you see them, it's ridiculous. It turns out that you actually _are _popular! Who bloody knew?!" Janet continued to ramble about nothing in particular, just saying anything that popped into her head in an attempt to evade the silence that would surely engulf her if she stopped, her eyes never leaving Rachel's face as time ticked slowly on.

* * *

"Kevin, I _promise _you, if you don't stop playing with the buttons in my car you _will_ be on tea duty for a year." Gill threatened as she glared at Kevin who was once more turning the volume knob up and down on her iPod player. His hand stilled immediately before ever so slowly moving until it was in his lap as if he genuinely thought that Gill wouldn't be able to see if he moved at a snail's pace. His foot was tapping energetically against the floor which proved he was still on a sugar high and Gill sighed, grateful when the traffic light turned green and she could start moving again. She'd, optimistically in hindsight, presumed that Kevin would get a lift with Mitch but no such luck. Mitch had to pick up his kids by 8pm so it was she who was lumbered with the office fool. She kept silent for the rest of the journey to the hospital, trying not to think of anything as she drove. She always found driving relaxing, she wasn't sure why but she just seemed to go onto autopilot when she drove and that was definitely soothing when she felt as wound up as she was feeling at the moment. Expertly parking in one of the few spaces free in the hospital car park, she got out and waited for Kevin before walking to the front entrance and lighting a much needed cigarette as they stood in silence until Mitch arrived. Gill was more than aware that her officers had seen a lot of truly horrific things in their line of work but she'd still made a point to try and drill home to them how bad Rachel looked. It was always harder when you saw someone you knew in such a bad state and Gill had wanted to prepare them as much as possible. Pete and Lee were coming with her tomorrow and she'd do exactly the same with them before they came.

As soon as Mitch approached them, Gill threw her cigarette to the floor and the two men hesitantly followed her through the seemingly endless corridors to the ICU ward. It had continued to be a horribly quiet day and so they were there quite early.

"Wait here." Gill said suddenly, whirling around and causing both men to halt abruptly. "I'll just go in and check with Janet and then you can come in, alright?" She waited for Mitch to nod before she turned back around and disappeared through the curtain. "How's she doing?" she asked gently as she headed towards the bed and noted Janet sat there in the middle of a one-man conversation.

"She opened her eyes!" Janet grinned tiredly, looking even more worse-for-wear than she had done when Gill had last seen her.

"Oh, thank fuck!" Gill breathed, the relief evident on her face. "What did the doctor say?"

Janet's face fell and a scowl appeared on her face. "He said that we shouldn't 'get too excited' about it. And then I told him to fuck off. They don't know what they're talking about." Janet growled, turning back to Rachel as she said this. "I've been telling Rachel exactly what they've been saying so she can wake up and give them shit."

Gill walked around to Janet and gently squeezed her shoulder. "Listen cock, he may be right. It might be nothing.." she noticed Janet's head snap up and spoke louder to stop Janet rushing in. "But.. they _have _to give the worse case scenarios when it comes to stuff like this, so he's just as likely to be talking out of his arse." Janet muttered something under her breath that sounded surprisingly petulant and Gill grinned in spite of herself. "The boys are outside waiting to come in. I'll just go and get 'em." She poked her head around the curtain, gesturing for them to enter.

Mitch came through first and momentarily stood frozen to the spot as he looked at Rachel. At the pause, Janet looked up confused, eying Mitch and then looking back at the woman who lay beside her. It took a moment to realize that it was just looking at Rachel that had caused him to falter and it startled her to know that by this stage she was kind of _used_ to seeing Rach this way, it didn't cause her to be rooted to the spot every time she came in now. Shaking her head slightly in an attempt to dispel the thoughts, she glanced at Mitch once again before turning her full attention back to Rachel. Kevin soon followed and Janet could hear him audibly gasp as he caught sight of his colleague laid in the bed, her face and body covered in tubes and lines and drips and monitors. No doubt he was taking in the deathly pale tone of her skin which was only interrupted by violent looking dark bruises which seemed all the more sinister against the sheer whiteness of the room she was in. For a long moment there was just silence as both men looked at Rachel and Gill sat in the chair opposite Janet.

"Hi, Janet." Mitch said weakly, feeling flummoxed and out of his depth. It was amazing just how different it was between coming across this in a professional setting and having to face someone you cared about in the same situation. "Has there been any change?"

"She opened her eyes earlier which is a good sign, of course." Janet answered in a monotone, not taking her eyes away from Rachel. "I told her that you were coming to visit." Silence descended once again as they all stared at Rachel. "You _can_ talk to her, you know!" Janet suddenly said, a hint of anger in her voice. "Would you like to be just fucking stared at if you were her? Say hello!"

Mitch glanced over at Kevin and they both shifted uncomfortably as Gill leaned across the bed to place a hand over Janet's. It was hard for her to see the woman who was usually rather unflappable unravel in this way. Especially as she considered Janet to be a good friend. She shifted her gaze towards Mitch and gave a semi-reassuring small smile, trying to silently convey that it was okay, Janet was just struggling to deal with everything.

Kevin took a step forward, clearing his throat as he did so. "Hi, Rach," he paused as he was met with silence, shifting from foot to foot as he looked on. "So, er, I'll pay you back for them biscuits. I only meant to have one but they were really good." Again the sentence hung in the air and he fiddled with his hands uncomfortably. "Oh, and Godz- Gill - DCI Murray - " he squirmed as Gill looked up with a raised eyebrow before hurrying to continue, "er- the ma'am gave that PC who.. who..' he faltered slightly, '.. you know.. anyway, she gave her shit. I think she made her cry. So that's good..." he trailed off, feeling completely idiotic for talking to someone in a coma, and took a few steps back until he was once again leaning against the wall, looking at Mitch with pleading eyes.

"We miss you, Rachel." Mitch said gently, inadvertently causing Janet's eyes to fill with tears as she determinedly kept her gaze focused on Rachel. "The fridge is smelling much too normal without you there to stink it out with unused food. I hope you wake up soon. We all do."

Gill felt proud of her team. This was obviously a difficult time for everyone but they were all, even Kevin, trying their best to help in any way they could think of. It hit her once more just how close knit this unit was, even though most of the time it didn't feel that way. She'd have to take them all out for a nice meal when Rachel got out of her. _If _she got out of her, her brain amended, causing Gill to curse under her breath which elicited confused glances from the two men. She gave a half hearted smile before standing up suddenly, the silence seeming almost suffocating. "Does anyone want a coffee?"

* * *

"Mummy?" came a little voice as Alison crept out of her daughter's temporary bedroom, causing her to turn around as her heart ached. Holly never called her 'mummy' anymore unless she was deeply upset or she was unsettled.

"Yes, sweetheart?" Alison asked as she approached the bed again and sat down on the edge of it.

"Are you going to see Auntie Rachel now?" Holly asked, her eyes peering over the duvet and seeking out reassurance as she looked up into her mother's face.

"Yes, Hols. I'm going to go and see Auntie Rach." Alison tried to keep her voice as flat as possible, knowing that if she showed the real emotion she was feeling, Holly would be petrified. She glanced down at her daughter who looked so small in the double bed and felt the unwanted tears begin to well again.

"When is she going to be better?" Holly knew that her aunt was very poorly and had cried a lot at school today. Luckily, her teachers were nice and they'd even made her a nice card which was on the little table beside the bed.

"I don't know, darling. Soon, I hope." Alison replied quietly, her hand cupping Holly's face. "You need to try and sleep now else you'll be tired at school tomorrow."

"I'm scared." Holly whispered, her eyes wide.

"I know, baby. Mummy's a little bit scared too," she said softly, brushing the hair away from the little girl's face. "But we have to brave, don't we? For Auntie Rachel. She wouldn't want us being scared, would she?"

"I'm going to make her a card tomorrow. Miss Griffiths said that I could."

"Well, that's lovely. I'm sure Auntie Rach would love that." Alison discreetly glanced at her watch. Of course she would stay here as long as her daughter needed her, but she desperately wanted to be by Rachel's side, even the bleeping monitors would be reassuring right now.

"Will you be here when I wake up?" Holly asked, shifting slightly in the big bed and turning on her side.

"I think so. I'll try to be. But if not, Janet will be here. You remember Janet, don't you?" Janet had met Holly a few times over the past year and Holly had seemed to like her.

"Yes." Holly fell quiet for a long moment, seemingly contemplating the situation. "And Elise. I like Elise. She said she'll make me a milkshake when I wake up."

"There, that's nice, see? Now, do you think you're going to be able to sleep, darling?" Alison whispered, "Or do you want me to put on 'Finding Nemo' so you can fall asleep to that?"

Holly looked confused. She was _never_ allowed DVDs at bedtime, it was always a nice story and then straight to sleep. "Yes please." she agreed, a hint of bewilderment in her voice. She watched as her mother proceeded to rifle through the bags that had been hurriedly packed and brought to Janet's until she found the DVD and lifted it triumphantly.

Alison put the DVD on and pressed play, turning back to Holly as she did so. "There we go. I'm going to go now, okay sweetheart? If you need _anything_ go and find Elise or Elise's granny, okay? You've been such a good girl, Holly. I love you very, very much." Alison stroked her daughter's hair once more and planted a big kiss on her cheek before hovering in the doorway. "I'm going to keep the landing light on, okay?"

"Yes, mummy. Give Auntie Rach a kiss for me. Love you." Holly snuggled down into the bed, her eyes turning to the small television in the corner of the room.

"Love you too, baby. Night night."

* * *

Alison hurried past the nurses station and pulled back the curtain to Rachel's room before approaching cautiously. Janet was sat in the same chair that she'd been in when Alison had left, and she seriously doubted that Janet had moved at all in the hours that had passed. "How is she? Any change?"

Janet turned around with a weary smile, her hand squeezing Rachel's as she did so. Gill, Mitch and Pete had left an hour ago and since then she'd really felt the tiredness of the past couple of days catch up on her. "Hi, love. She's doing okay. She opened her eyes earlier.."

"She did?! Oh, my God! When?!" Alison asked excitedly, hope bubbling in her stomach.

"A few hours ago. I would have called but.." Janet hesitated, ".. er, I didn't want to leave her incase she did it again. I didn't want her to open her eyes and not have someone she knew here."

"Yeah, no.. that's fine, fine! What did the doctor say?" Alison drew up alongside Rachel and held her hand, careful to avoid the drip that was attached.

"Not much," Janet answered carefully, not sure how much to say. "He, er, he said that we shouldn't get too excited but I do think it's a good sign."

"Of course it is.. of course it is!" she turned to Rachel, "Well done, sweetheart. I knew you could do it."

"How was Holly?" Janet asked, standing up and stretching.

"Um.. okay. I told her the basics, that Rach is in here and is very poorly but obviously I didn't go into detail. She's scared.. but she's a tough cookie, that one, just like her auntie." Alison gave a small smile, settling down in her chair.

"Good. I'll check in on her when I get home. Oh, Mitch and Kevin came along with Gill to see Rach, too. And I reckon she'll have more visitors tomorrow."

"That's.. uh.." Ali stumbled over her words, her concentration way down as she glanced around the room at all the monitors. ".. that's great. What time will you be back tomorrow?"

"Probably about 7ish if that's alright? Do I need to be here earlier? What time does Holly wake up?" Janet leaned against the wall, her body feeling heavy with exhaustion.

"No, that's fine, love. Holly doesn't get up til 7.30am and I'll be home by then."

After a couple of minutes of small talk, Janet cast one last long glance at her best friend and excused herself, feeling freezing all of a sudden as she headed to her car. Climbing inside she turned the heaters on in an attempt to warm up and started the engine, jumping slightly as the radio came on. Taking care to drive home safely, she sighed in relief as she let herself into the house and walked straight to the kitchen.

"Hello, love." Janet's mum said quietly. "How's Rachel?"

Janet explained the latest news as she nursed a hot cup of tea, making her way to bed as soon as was considered not rude. Taisie was already in bed and Elise was doing her homework as Janet climbed wearily up the stairs, popping her head around the door of the spare room to check on Holly as she did so. Holly seemed to be asleep so Janet closed the door silently behind her and gently knocked on Elise's door.

"Hi sweetheart," Janet intoned quietly as she opened the door. "Are you okay?"

Elise stood up and walked towards her mum, giving her hug when she reached her. "Yeah, we're fine. How are you? How is Rachel?"

"I'm okay but I need my bed," Janet grinned into Elise's hair before letting her go. "And Rachel opened her eyes briefly which has to be a good thing." she slumped against the wall, struggling to keep her eyes open as she peered at her eldest daughter. "Has Gran been okay?"

"Yeah. She made a really nice stew for tea." Elise smiled, settling back down at her desk and picking up her pen once more.

They chatted for a few minutes before Elise forcefully sent her mother to bed and Janet eagerly complied, feeling a sense of relief as she closed her bedroom door behind her and shut out the world. Shedding her clothes steadily as she approached the bed, she audibly sighed as she slid into the cool bed and pulled the duvet tight around herself. She turned on her side, yawning widely, and waited for sleep to take her, desperately trying to fend off the scary thoughts and possibilities that were threatening to overwhelm her.


End file.
